TLC Football All TLC Teams


 

All-TLC 1997

QB Brett Favre GB
RB Terrell Davis Den
RB Barry Sanders Det
WR Tim Brown Oak
WR Herman Moore Det
PK Jason Elam Den
DL Dana Stubblefield SF
LB Marvcus Patton KC
LB Ray Lewis Bal
DB Rodney Harrison SD
DB Victor Green NYJ

PotY: RB Terrell Davis Den
DPotY: DB Rodney Harrison SD
Warm Bottle: WR Jerry Rice SF (Sam, 1st round)
Best Free Agent Pick: DB Rodney Harrison SD (Tom, week 2)

(Determined by Commissioner review in 2002)
All-TLC 1998

CO-QB: Steve Young, Randall Cunningham
RB Terrell Davis*++
RB Marshall Faulk
WR Randy Moss*
WR Antonio Freeman
PK Al Del Greco
CO-DL Michael Strahan and Michael McCrary
LB Zach Thomas
LB Derrick Brooks
DB Rodney Harrison++
CO-DB: Chad Cota and Lawyer Milloy

PotY: Steve Young
DPotY: Zach Thomas
Warm Bottle: Jeff George
Best Free Agent Pick: Randall Cunningham

*Unanimous selection
+Each Consecutive Year All-TLC
All-TLC 1999

First Team
QB Peyton Manning (Smackmeisters)
RB Stephen Davis (Smackmeisters)
RB Edgerrin James (Crotch Crickets)
WR Marvin Harrison* (Smackmeisters)
WR Isaac Bruce (Deadly Venoms)
PK Olindo Mare (Robstradomus)
DL Jevon Kearse (Upsetters)
LB Ray Lewis* (Upsetters)
LB Derrick Brooks++ (Venoms/Caesars)
DB Lawyer Milloy++ (Force 10)
DB Robert Griffith (Biatch Bombers)

Second Team
QB Kurt Warner (Juggernauts)
RB Marshall Faulk++ (Juggernauts/Predators)
RB Dorsey Levens (Deadly Venoms)
WR Cris Carter (Juggernauts/Bombers)
WR Jimmy Smith (Upsetters/Caesars)
PK Mike Hollis (Rasta Bay)
DL Tony Brackens (Stellum/Bombers)
LB Jessie Armstead (Smackmeisters)
LB Donnie Edwards (Deadly Venoms)
DB Eric Brown (Deadly Venoms)
DB Champ Bailey (Little Caesars)

PotY: Peyton Manning
DPotY: Ray Fucking Lewis*

Best draft choice (early):
Manning, Smackmeisters (1st round, 7th overall)

Best Draft choice (late):
Warner*, Juggernauts (17th, 242nd)

Warm Bottle:
Vinny Testaverde, Force 10 (1st round, 12th overall)

Best Free Agent Pick (Tie):
James Stewart, Stellum, Weeks 2 and 11
Jeff George, Stellum for Venoms, Week 7

*Unanimous selection
+Each Consecutive Year All-TLC

All-TLC 2000

First team:
QB Daunte Culpepper (Apex Predators)
RB Marshall Faulk (Biatch Bombers)+++
RB Edgerrin James (Robstradomus)++
WR Rod Smith (Juggernauts)
WR Marvin Harrison (Rasta Bay)++
PK Matt Stover (Mr. Maynard's Mayhem)
DL La'Roi Glover (Bozo Nightmare)
LB Derrick Brooks (Sith Lords)+++
LB Sam Cowart (Juggernauts)
DB Rodney Harrison (Apex Predators)
DB Pat Tillman (Mr. Maynard's Mayhem)

Second team:
QB Peyton Manning (Force 10 of Navarone)
RB Robert Smith (Force 10 of Navarone)
RB Charlie Garner (Your Olympic Heroes)
WR Randy Moss (Mayhem/Stellum)
WR Isaac Bruce (Asskickin' Rookie)++
PK Al Del Greco (Mark's Bitch)
DL Warren Sapp (Running Amok)
LB Ronald McKinnon (Biatch Bombers)
LB Brian Urlacher (Stellum/Heroes)
DB Ray Buchanan (Stellum)
DB Victor Green NYJ (Your Olympic Heroes)

+Each Consecutive Year All-TLC

MVP: RB Marshall Faulk (Biatch Bombers)
Defensive POY: LB Derrick Brooks (Sith Lords)

Best Rookie: RB Mike Anderson (Robstradomus/Stellum)
Biggest Steal: QB Jeff Garcia (Brandon, 11th round)
Warm Bottle: RB Terrell Fucking Davis (Dwight, 11th pick)
Best Free Agent Pick: LB Brian Urlacher (Sam, Week 4)
 

All-TLC 2001

1st Team
QB Jeff Garcia (Stellum)
RB Marshall Faulk (Mayhem/Mudbugs)++++
RB Shaun Alexander (Phoenix Rising)
WR Terrell Owens (Phoenix Rising)
WR Rod Smith (Prowlers)++
PK Jeff Wilkins (Juggernauts)
DL Michael Strahan (Stellum/Prowlers)
LB Ray Lewis (Intimidators)
LB Brian Urlacher (Bozo Nightmare)++
DB Rodney Harrison (Prowlers)++
DB Kwamie Lassiter (Intimidators)

2nd Team
QB Donovan McNabb (Intimidators)
RB Ahman Green (Forces of Evil)
RB Curtis Martin (Biatch Bombers)
WR Marvin Harrison (Netboy Mudbugs)+++
WR David Boston (Bozo Nightmare)
PK John Carney (Nightmare/Phoenix)
DL John Abraham (Phoenix Rising)
DL Jason Taylor (Apex Predators)
LB Keith Brooking (Running Amok)
LB Jeremiah Trotter (Mudbugs/Ryanites)
DB Darren Sharper (Stellum)

+Each Consecutive Year All-TLC

PotY
WR Terrell Owens (Phoenix Rising)

PotYotOsotB
LB Ray Fucking Lewis (Intimidators)

Best Draft Pick (Round 1-4)
QB Jeff Garcia (Stellum)

Best Draft Pick (Round 4-18)
RB Sean Alexander (Phoenix Rising)

Best Free Agent Pick
WR Marty Booker (Rasta Bay)

Warm Bottle Award
RB Fucking Fred Taylor (Prowlers)

Best Trade
WR Tim Brown and RB Dominic Rhodes
for RB Fred Taylor Jax, RB Emmitt Smith Dal, and a reach-around.

All-TLC 2002

First Team
QB Rich Gannon (Eric Hipple's Crew)
RB Priest Holmes (Bitch Please)*
RB Ricky Williams (Mudbugs)
WR Marvin Harrison (Beef/Stellum/Peacekeepers)*++++
WR Hines Ward (Obviously Inferior)
PK David Akers (Eric Hipple's Crew)
DL Jason Taylor (Hipple's/Inferior)++
LB Brian Urlacher (U.N. Peacekeepers)+++
LB Derrick Brooks (Pu-Pu Platter)
DB Adam Archuleta (Mark's Bitch)
DB Rod Woodson (Sucks to Suck)

Second Team
QB Donovan McNabb (Apex Predators)++
RB LaDanian Tomlinson (Pu-Pu/Cockblockers/Inferior)
RB Charlie Garner (Bitch Please)
WR Terrell Owens (Mark's Bitch)++
WR Eric Moulds (Mudbugs/Sucks to Suck)
PK Jay Feely (Obviously Inferior/Beef)
DL Michael Strahan (Pu-Pu/Cockblockers)++
LB Donnie Edwards (Kelly's Heroes/Mudbugs)
LB Jamie Sharper (Foreilla)
DB Chris Cash (Beef)
DB Brian Dawkins (Bitch Please)

PotY: RB Priest Holmes*
DPotY: LB Brian Urlacher

Best Early (1st-3rd) Pick:
RB Priest Holmes (Tom, 9th overall)

Best Late (4th-18th) Pick
RB Travis Henry (Smack, 4th round)

Warm Bottle Award:
QB Kurt Warner (Guy, 3rd overall)

Best Free Agent Pick (Tie):
LB Keith Bulluck (Dwight, week 4)
DB Chris Cash (Big Dave, week 6)

Netboy trades: Collins, McAllister, Barlow, Moulds
to Sam for: Culpepper, Mack, Fred and Travis Taylor

Coach of the Year:
Ken Chao

*Unanimous selection
+Each Consecutive Year All-TLC
 
All-TLC 2003

First team:
QB Daunte Culpepper Min (Duuuuudes)
RB Priest Holmes KC*++ (Cockblockers/Drew Henson)
RB LaDainian Tomlinson SD++ (Rasta Bay)
WR Torry Holt StL* (Drew Henson/Duuuuudes)
WR Randy Moss Min (Ralph Wiggum)
PK Mike Vanderjagt Ind (Drew Henson)
DL Mike Rucker Car (All In)
LB Ray Lewis Bal* (All In)
LB Donnie Edwards SD++ (Drew Henson/Duuuuudes)
DB Rodney Harrison SD (Duuuuudes)
DB Antoine Winfield Buf (Obviously Inferior)

Second team:
QB Peyton Manning Ind (Milk Plus)
RB Ahman Green GB (Crotch Crickets/2nd Evil Path)
RB Deuce McAllister NO (Drew Henson)
WR Chad Johnson Cin (Apex Predators)
WR Marvin Harrison Ind+++++ (Mudbugs/Moe Szyslak/Drew Henson)
PK Jeff Wilkins StL (Ralph Wiggum)
DL Michael Strahan NYG+++ (Moe Szyslak/Ralph Wiggum)
DL Simeon Rice TB (Ralph Wiggum/Moe Szyslak)
LB Sam Cowart NYJ (Rasta Bay)
LB Dat Nguyen Dal (Mudbugs)
DB Nick Harper Ind (Milk Plus)

Player of the Year: RB Priest Holmes KC++
Defensive Player of the Year: LB Ray Lewis Bal*

Best Early Draft Pick: WR Torry Holt StL (Norm, pick #38)
Best Late Draft Pick: RB Moe Williams Min (Wolf, 13th round)

Warm Bottle Award:
We had so many excellent nominees, and no clear frontrunner,
that I decided to split the award between all those who received
a vote:
QB Kurt Warner StL++ (Smack #19)
RB Jerome Bettis Pit (Guy #29)
QB Rich Gannon Oak (Ross #31)
RB Duce Staley Phi (Kelly, 4th round)
LB Mark Fields Car (Big Dave, 8th round)
and a special Commissioner's citation for:
WR Peerless Price Atl (Rob #37 - just ahead of Torry Holt)

Best Free Agent Pick:
QB Mark Bulger StL, Kelly, Week 2

Best Trade:
Guy trades:                          to Norm for:
RB Priest Holmes KC         RB Marshall Faulk StL
RB Aveion Cason Dal        RB Kevin Faulk NE
WR Chris Chambers Mia    RB Rickey Williams Ind

Coach of the Year:
Norm Sun*

*Unanimous Selection. Well, Norm would have been unanimous, but he was too shy to vote for himself.
+Each consecutive year winning this award.


Commissioner's Special Awards:

Mark Spitz Award, for gathering the most Top Performer awards:
Big Dave (11)

Deer Hunter Award, for bagging the most Ten-Point Bucks:
Rob (10.5)

Mack Brown Award, just guess:
Guy (8 in 5 different weeks)

Postman Award, for the most Kai awards:
Ken (5)

And a special shoutout to Mr. Unappreciated, Jeff Blake,
who won 4 separate Applewhites for Netboy.
Just give him the damn ball!
 
All-TLC 2004

First team:
QB Peyton Manning Ind* (Stellum)                   4/2
RB Tiki Barber NYG (One for the Thumb)
RB LaDainian Tomlinson SD ('blockers/Drew Henson)  3/3
WR Terrell Owens Phi* (WMD/Sports Jerk)            2
WR Marvin Harrison Ind (Bombers/Hellfighters)      6/6
PK Adam Vinatieri NE (Stellum/Sports Jerk)        
DL Julius Peppers Car* (Moe Szyslak Experience)
LB Zach Thomas Mia (One for the Thumb)             2
LB Derrick Brooks TB (MMM/Nameless)                5
DB Rodney Harrison NE* (Sports Jerk 2004)          6/2
DB Ed Reed Bal (Moe Szyslak/Stellum)

Second team:
co-QB Daunte Culpepper Min (Hellfighters)          3/2
co-QB Donovan Mcnabb Phi (Cockblockers)            3
RB Edgerrin James Ind (Rasta Bay)                  3
RB Curtis Martin NYJ (Stellum)                     2
WR Joe Horn NO (Running Back by Committee)
WR Muhsin Muhammad Car (Nameless)
PK David Akers Phi (Nameless)                      2
DL Patrick Kerney Atl (INV/Drew Henson)
DL Charles Grant NO (One for the Thumb/WMD)
LB Ray Lewis Bal (Mudbugs/Hellfighters)            5/2
LB Donnie Edwards SD (Nameless)                    4/3
DB Adrian Wilson Arz (Running Back by Committee)

Player of the Year: Peyton Manning*                2
Defensive Player of the Year: Rodney Harrison     2

Best Early Draft Pick: Peyton Manning (Robert #13) 2
Best Late Draft Pick: WR Antonio Gates SD (Sam, 15th round)

Warm Bottle Award: RB Kevan Barlow SF (Netboy #14)

Best Free Agent Pick (tie):
RB Michael Pittman TB (Sam, Week 3)
RB Reuben Droughns Den (Sam, Week 5)

Best Trade:
I'm not sure, but it definitely involved Brian Westbrook or Randy Moss

Coach of the Year (tie):
Hot Tub and Wolf

*Unanimous Selection.
Numbers at the end of the line are number of times winning this award/consecutive years.

Commissioner's Special Awards:

Mark Spitz Award:
Robert (13.33)

Deer Hunter Award:
Netboy (8.33)

Mack Brown Award:
Robert (8 in 6 weeks)

Postman Award, for the most Kai awards:
Kelly (14, or 47% of the league total)
 
All-TLC 2005

First team:
QB Carson Palmer Cin* (Drew Henson)
RB LaDanian Tomlinson SD* (Mudbugs)     4/4
RB Shaun Alexander Sea* (Flash 80)            2
WR Steve Smith Car* (Stellum)
WR Chad Johnson Cin* (Biatch Bombers)    2
PK Neil Rackers Arz* (Victory/Excessive)
DL Jason Taylor Mia* (Victory)                    3
LB Jonathan Vilma NYJ* (Excessive/RBBC)
LB Donnie Edwards SD (Mudbugs/Argh)     5/4
DB Adrian Wilson Arz (Done for/Soldiers)   2/2
DB Charles Tillman Chi (WMD)


Second team:
QB Peyton Manning Ind (Freaking Soldiers)  5/3
RB Edgerrin James Ind* (Drew Henson)       4/2
RB LaMont Jordan Oak (INV)
WR Larry Fitzgerald Arz (Stellum)
WR Marvin Harrison Ind (Drew Henson)      7/7
PK Lawrence Tynes KC (Bombers/Henson)
DL Mike Strahan NYG (Drew Henson)        5
LB Mike Peterson Jax (RBBC)
LB Zach Thomas Mia (Flash 80)                   3/2
DB Terrence McGee Buf (Flash 80)
DB Roy Williams Dal (Freaking Soldiers)


Player of the Year: LaDanian Tomlinson
Defensive Player of the Year: Jonathan Vilma

Coach of the Year: Norm Sun                        2

*Unanimous Selection.
Numbers at the end of the line are (number of times winning this award)/(consecutive years).

Best Early Draft Pick (tie):
Carson Palmer(Norm #58), Steve Smith (Robert #60)

Best Late Draft Pick:
RB Larry Johnson KC (Norm, 5th round)

Warm Bottle Award (tie):
RB Jamal Lewis Bal (Wolf #4), RB JJ Arrington Arz (Sam #55)

Best Free Agent Pick:
WR Joey Galloway TB (Brandon, Week 4)

Best Trade:
Flash 80 trades:                     to Drew Henson for:
WR Marvin Harrison Ind     WR Donte Stallworth NO
etc.                                        RB Ronnie Brown Mia
                                             etc.


Commissioner's Special Awards:

Mark Spitz Award:
Sam (12 Top Performers)

Deer Hunter Award:
Guy (9 2/3 10 Point Bucks)

Mack Brown Award:
Wolf (9 Applewhites in 5 different weeks)

Postman Award:
Jeff (8 Kais)


Commentary:
Not only were the first 8 spots unanimously all-TLC, there were only 3 votes (out of 72) among them that were even for second-team. I don't know if that's because things were more clear-cut this year, we're all getting smarter, or you all paid closer heed to my spreadsheets and Norm's cajoling.

Or perhaps as Scott said "When only you four circle-jerking, 'are you a goer,'  don't mind if I do, self-congratulatory replicants (and Robert and Big Dave) vote, you tend to get similar results.

Free Kirby Dar Dar!!!!!"

There were only a couple of surprises: Marvin Harrison kept his amazing streak alive mainly because he had an amazing streak going. By any objective measure it's hard to put him much higher than #10 WR this year. Donnie Edwards was another "rep" choice. He's a lot closer to top 4 than Harrison, but where's the love for Antonio Pierce?
 
All-TLC 2006

First team:
QB Peyton Manning Ind* (Henson/Force)            6/4
RB Ladanian Tomlinson SD* (smackmeisters)     5/5
RB Brian Westbrook Phi* (Bandidos Yanquis)
WR Chad Johnson Cin (Force/Henson/Blockers)  3/2
WR Steve Smith Car* (Third Best)                        2/2
PK Robbie Gould Chi (Biatch Bombers)
DL Jason Taylor Mia* (Sweet Love/Henson)       4/2
LB DeMeco Ryans Hou* (smackmeisters)
LB Keith Bulluck Ten (Excessive Force)
DB Ronde Barber TB (What is Hip?)
DB Adrian Wilson Arz* (Bandidos Yanquis)       3/3


Second team:
QB Donovan McNabb Phi (Cockblockers)           4
RB Larry Johnson KC (Bandidos/WMD)
RB Steven Jackson StL (Stellum)
WR Reggie Wayne Ind (Drew Henson)
WR Andre Johnson Hou (Mudbugs)
PK Vacant
DL Jared Allen KC* (Bandidos/Third)
LB London Fletcher Buf (Mudbugs)
LB Donnie Edwards SD (Third/Hoculoids)          6/5
DB Chris Hope Ten (Hoculoids)
DB Kerry Rhodes NYJ (Hoculoids)


Player of the Year: LaDanian Tomlinson*            2/2
Defensive Player of the Year: DeMeco Ryans

Coach of the Year (tie): the Michelsens

*Unanimous Selection.
Numbers at the end of the line are (number of times winning this award)/(consecutive years).

Best Early Draft Pick:
Donovan McNabb (Robert, #50)

Best Late Draft Pick:
DeMeco Ryans (Smack, 7th round)

Warm Bottle Award (tie):
RB LaMont Jordan Oak (Rob, #8)

Best Free Agent Pick:
QB Tony Romo Dal (Rob, week 6)

Best Trade:
Drew Henson trades              to Excessive Force for
WR Chad Johnson Cin         QB Peyton Manning Ind
LB AJ Hawk GB                  LB Kirk Morrison Oak
RB Anthony Thomas Buf     etc.
etc.

Best Smack:
Custom Made, Ric Flair and Sam Summerlin


Commissioner's Special Awards:

Mark Spitz Award:
Sam (11 1/6 Top Performers)

Deer Hunter Award:
Matt (11 2/3 Ten-Point Bucks)

Postman Award:
Jeff (8 Kais)

Mack Brown Award:
Sam (7 in 5 weeks)


Commentary:
LT is the first unanimous PotY since Peyton in 2004 and the first repeat since Priest in 02-03. DeMeco Ryans is the first rookie to win either side of the top awards. He may be the first rookie since Randy Moss in '98 to even make the All-TLC team.

Rob was wronged for LaMont Jordan. He went right about where he should have, but his team imploded and he got hurt. The pick that was clearly wrong on draft day, by a vet who should know better, and only got worse as the season aged: Edgerrin James at #4.

Ross actually had more Applewhites, but that was because he had a knack for benching or cutting players right before they would have been Top Performers. His 14 Applewhites only cost him 3 wins. I'm stealing this award for myself because the 5 games I lost because of lineup decisions were the difference between #1 playoff seed and the bizarros
 
All-TLC 2007
First team:
QB Tom Brady NE* (Lupus Salictarius)
RB Brian Westbrook Phi* (Cockblockers) 2/2
RB Ladainian Tomlinson SD* (Biatch/Bean Runners) 6/6
WR Randy Moss NE* (Mudbugs) 4
WR Terrell Owens Dal* (Excessive Force) 4
PK Rob Bironas Ten (Mudbugs)
DL Jared Allen KC (Excessive Force) 2/2
DL Aaron Kampman GB (Lupus Salictarius)
LB DeMeco Ryans Hou* (Bean Runners/Rough Riders) 2/2
LB Ray Lewis Bal* (Ze Germans/Rough Riders) 6
DB Terrence McGee Buf* (Bean Runners) 2

Second Team
QB Tony Romo Dal* (worst. season. ever.)
RB Adrian S. Peterson Min* (Learn to Stutter)
RB Joseph Addai Ind* (RB by Committee)
WR Reggie Wayne Ind* (RB by Committee) 2/2
WR Braylon Edwards Cle (WMD)
PK Mason Crosby GB (Sweet Love/Stutter)
DL Trent Cole Phi (Cockblockers)
DL Osi Umenyiora NYG (Drew Henson/Rough Riders)
LB Patrick Willis SF* (Drew Henson)
DB Nate Clements SF* (Mudbugs)
DB Gibril Wilson NYG (Gogoplatas)

Player of the Year
QB Tom Brady NE*

Defensive Player of the Year
DB Terrence McGee Buf

Coach of the year
Dwight "Hot Tub" Rowley 2

Best Early Draft Pick (rounds 1-4)
QB Tom Brady #18, Wolf

Best Late Draft Pick (rounds 5-18)
WR Randy Moss 6th round, Netboy

Warm Bottle
RB Laurence Maroney #7, Sam 3

Best Free Agent Pickup
QB Derek Anderson* week 2/3, Rob 2/2

Best trade
Jeff trades                to Hot Tub for
RB Ladanian Tomlinson SD   QB Peyton Manning Ind
QB Alex Smith SF          RB Ron Dayne Hou

Best Smack
Tony Romo Line Rider of Doom

Commissioner's Special Awards:

Mark Spitz Award:
Wolf (11 Top Performers)

Deer Hunter Award:
Matt (11.83 Ten-Point Bucks)

Mack Brown Award:
Ross (12 Applewhites in 6 weeks)

Postman Award:
Jeff (6 Kais)
All-TLC 2008
First team
QB Kurt Warner Arz
RB Marion Barber Dal
RB Matt Forte Chi
WR Anquan Boldin Arz
WR Larry Fitzgerald Arz
PK Rob Bironas Ten
DL Justin Tuck NYG
LB Patrick Willis SF
LB Jon Beason Car
DB Gibril Wilson Oak
DB Yeremiah Bell Mia

Second team
QB Tony Romo Dal
RB DeAngelo Williams Car
RB Brian Westbrook Phi
WR Andre Johnson Hou
WR Roddy White Atl
PK Mason Crosby GB
DL Julius Peppers Car
LB Barrett Ruud TB
LB Gary Brackett Ind
DB Josh Wilson Sea
DB Eric Weddle SD

Player of the Year:
WR Anquan Boldin Arz
Defensive Player of the Year:
LB Patrick Willis SF

Coach of the Year:
Hot Tub Dwight Rowley

Best Early Draft Pick (rounds 1-4):
WR Anquan Boldin Arz (Brandon, pick #53)

Best Late Draft Pick (rounds 5-18):
RB Steve Slaton Hou (Sam, 10th round)


Warm Bottle
RB Willis McGahee Bal (Smack, pick #18)

Best Free Agent Pick
WR Lance Moore NO (Wolf, Week 5)

Best Trade
Eric & Laura trade Brian Westbrook, etc. to Sam for Schaub/Slaton/Ruud.
All-TLC 2009
First team
QB Aaron Rodgers GB (Full Grown Afterbirth)
RB Chris Johnson Ten (it's not shit, it's clay)*
RB Maurice Jones-Drew Jax (He Who Arises in Might)*
WR Larry Fitzgerald Arz (Big Cruddy)
WR Randy Moss NE (it's not shit, it's clay)
PK David Akers Phi (Cockblockers)
DL Jared Allen Min (Brahma Fear)*
LB Patrick Willis SF (how do my balls taste?)*
LB Jon Beason Car (Excessive Force)*
DB Tyvon Branch Oak (Brahma Fear/Big Cruddy)*
DB Yeremiah Bell Mia (Brahma Fear)*

Second Team
QB Drew Brees NO (Excessive Force)
RB Ray Rice Bal (Cockblockers)
RB Adrian Peterson Min (Cosmik Debris/Brahma Fear)
WR Andre Johnson Hou (BC/CD/BF)
WR Wes Welker NE (Better than You)
PK Nate Kaeding SD (balls taste/Stellum)
DL Andre Carter Was (Big Cruddy)
DL Justin Tuck NYG (Better than You)
LB Ray F. Lewis Bal (Brahma Fear)
LB Curtis Lofton Atl (Full Grown Afterbirth)
DB Brian Dawkins Den (Full Grown Afterbirth)

Player of the Year:
RB Chris Johnson Ten (it's not shit, it's clay)

Defensive Player of the Year:
LB Patrick Willis SF (how do my balls taste?)*

Coach of the Year: Sam Summerlin, Brahma Fear

Best Early Draft Pick (rounds 1-4):
Ray Rice Bal (Guy, pick #61)*

Best Late Draft Pick (rounds 5-18):
Tyvon Branch Oak (Sam, 16th round)

* Indicates unanimity.

The rest of the awards were determined by the Commissioner. There were only 2 or 3 voters for them, and none of them agreed, so I just made my own vote count twice. With explanations, in case you want to argue.

Warm Bottle (Worst Mistake on Draft Day): RB Brandon Jacobs NYG (Rob, pick #14)
- There's a lot to be said for Brian Westbrook (Tommy) or Clinton Portis (Bree) here, but at least they had the decency to stop playing. Jacobs kept going out there and scoring 9 points every week until he finally got benched in week 11. Even the players he was traded for were disappointments.

Best Free Agent Pick: DL Andre Carter Was (Dwight, week 3)
- Picked up same week as Yeremiah Bell (Sam) and Brian Cushing (Rob), but he was more valuable. In 11 starts, he provided about 73 more points than the average starting DL would. That's as much as Peyton Manning provided above the average QB in 16 games.

Best Trade: Netboy trades Michael Turner to Rob for Randy Moss
- I think I understand the other trades that get all the press. Brandon panicked on Chris Johnson, Bree thought Wes Welker was hurt worse than he was, Tony Romo and DeAngelo Williams weren't actually that great. But I can't figure out how Netboy pulled this one off. Your own brother is not going to let you snowjob him, so it must have been a really smooth pitch.

Best Smack: www.whosreallyincharge.com
- A prime year for smack, including homages to The Band and Jethro Tull. But this one wins because it retired Eric.

Best Bet: Netboy narrates a baseball game.
- Lots of good bets, too, but this is the only one that made the wiki.
All-TLC 2009
First team
QB Aaron Rodgers GB* (Tommy)
RB Arian Foster Hou* (Smack)
RB Adrian Peterson Min* (Robert)
WR Roddy White Atl* (Guy/Laura)
WR Calvin Johnson Det* (Dwight/Laura)
PK David Akers Phi* (Brandon/Tommy)
DL Justin Tuck NYG* (Brandon)
LB Stephen Tulloch Ten* (Bree)
LB Paul Posluszny Buf* (Laura)
DB TJ Ward Cle* (Dwight)
DB Tyvon Branch Oak (Brandon)

Second team
QB Philip Rivers SD (Laura/Dwight)
RB Peyton Hillis Cle (Laura)*
RB Jamaal Charles KC (Big Dave)
WR Greg Jennings GB (Tommy)*
WR Reggie Wayne Ind (Tommy)
PK Seabass Janikowski Oak (Matt)
DL Trent Cole Phi (Ross)
LB Ray F. Lewis Bal* (Robert)
LB Jerod Mayo NE (Brandon)
DB Bernard Pollard Hou (Tommy)
DB Laron Landry Was (Wolf)

Player of the Year:
RB Arian Foster Hou (Smack)

Defensive PotY:
LB Stephen Tulloch Ten (Bree)

Coach of the Year: Tommy Michelsen

Best Early Pick:
#25 Arian Foster (Smack)

Best Late Pick:
Round 14, TJ Ward (Dwight)

Warm Bottle:
#12 Ryan Mathews (Netboy)

Best Free Agent:
Week 2, Peyton Hillis (Laura)

Best Trade:
Week 8, Laura trades Philip Rivers and Brandon Lloyd to Dwight for Jay Cutler and Calvin Johnson.

Best Smack (tie):
Sam's week 10 photo hype/Dwight and Bree's week 2 feud

Best Bet (tie):
Smack vs Dwight "Pimp my Wiki"/ Laura vs Sam "Lawnmower"

* Indicates unanimity.

Repeats from last year: Rodgers, Akers, Branch, Tuck, Peterson, RF Lewis, and Smack for half of the best bet.

 
Team of the Decade
 
First Team

QB Peyton Manning
 
4 1st Team All TLC
2 2nd Team All TLC
PotY 1997, Smack's 18-0 team
PotY 2004
4 Top 10 performances
 


RB
Marshall F. Faulk
 
2 1st Team All TLC
1 2nd Team All TLC
PotY 2000, Jeff's title team
MVP of 2000 & 2001 ECSB
People's Choice
 

LaDainian Tomlinson
 
4 1st Team All TLC
1 2nd Team All TLC
PotY 2005 & 2006
ECSB MVP 2002
 

WR
Marvin Harrison
 
4 1st Team All TLC
3 2nd Team All TLC
4 ECSBs, 2 rings
 

Randy Moss
 
2 1st Team All TLC
1 2nd Team All TLC
3 Top 10 performances
 

PK
Al Del Greco
 
Best. Player. Ever.
 

DL
Jason Taylor
 
2 1st Team All TLC
2 2nd Team All TLC
3 Top 10 performances
2 game-winning touchdowns
 


LB
Ray F. Lewis
 
4 1st Team All TLC
1 2nd Team All TLC
DPotY 1999, 2001, 2003
#7 overall scorer 2003
2 Top 10 performances
 

Derrick Brooks
 
5 1st Team All TLC
DPotY 2000
2 Top 10 performances
 


DB
Rodney Harrison
 
6 1st Team All TLC
DPY 1997 & 2004 (only DB)
 

Adrian Wilson
 
2 1st Team All TLC
1 All TLC 2nd Team
 



Player of the Decade:
Marshall Faulk
 
Second Team

QB Daunte Culpepper
 
2 1st Team All TLC
1 2nd Team All TLC
Led Netboy to 2002 ECSB
 




RB
Edgerrin James
 
2 1st Team All TLC
2 All TLC 2nd Team
7 straight 1st-round picks
Led Ross and Norm to ECSB
 

Priest Holmes
 
2 1st Team All TLC
Led Netboy's 15-3 team in 1998
PotY 2002
PotY 2003 for Norm's title team
 


WR
Terrell Owens
 
PotY 2001 (Only WR)
2 1st Team All TLC
1 2nd Team All TLC
 

Rod Smith
 
2 1st Team All TLC
10-year starter
 


PK
Jason Elam
 
Tom Fucking Dempsey
 

DL
Michael Strahan
 
2 1st Team All TLC
3 2nd Team All TLC
 




LB
Donnie Edwards
 
2 1st Team All TLC
3 2nd Team All TLC
Led Wolf's 2004 title run
3 Top 10 performances
 

Zach Thomas
 
2 All TLC 1st Teams
1 All TLC 2nd Team
DPotY 1998
 



DB
Lawyer Milloy
 
2 1st Team All TLC
 

Victor Green
 
1 1st Team All TLC
1 2nd Team All TLC
 




Defensive Player of the Decade:
Ray Lewis
 
Third Team

QB Donovan McNabb
 
4 2nd Team All TLC
 

Special Pop:
Brett Favre: 1st player ever drafted, never missed a game due to injury.
Steve Beuerlein killed the kraken in 99.

RB
Terrell F. Davis
 
2 1st Team All TLC
OPY 1997, led Scott's 12-2 team
First to earn the middle name.
 

Tiki Barber
 
1 1st Team All TLC
Won first draft-day drink service.
 

Special Pop:
Corey Dillon had a good game once.


WR
Chad Johnson
 
2 1st Team All TLC
1 2nd Team All TLC
 

Steve Smith
 
2 1st Team All TLC
Led Robert's title team in 2005
 

Special Pop:
Jimmy Smith: the shovel.




DL
Julius Peppers
 
1 1st Team All TLC
1 2nd Team All TLC
 

Special pop: Chuck Smith, for an improbably long-lasting record.

LB
Brian Urlacher
 
2 1st Team All TLC
1 2nd Team All TLC
DPotY 2002
2 Top 10 performances
 

Keith Bulluck
 
1 1st Team All TLC
#5 LB in '02 and '04
 

Special pop:
DeMeco Ryans, 2006 DPotY as rookie

DB
Kwamie Lassiter
 
1 1st Team All TLC
Only player with 3 rings ('00-'02)
 

Pat Tillman
 
1 All TLC 1st Team
 

Special pop:
Ronde Barber, best defensive game ever
Rod Woodson, MNF.

 
All-TLC 1997-2001 - Players of the Half Decade

QB Peyton Manning
RB Marshall Faulk
RB Terrell Davis
WR Marvin Harrison
WR Rod Smith
PK Al Del Greco
DL Michael Strahan
LB Ray Lewis
LB Derrick Brooks
DB Rodney Harrison
DB Lawyer Milloy

PotHD: Marshall Faulk
DPotHD: Ray Lewis


 

All-TLC 2002-2006 - Players of the Second Half-Decade

QB Peyton Manning
RB LaDanian Tomlinson
RB Priest Holmes
WR Marvin Harrison
WR Chad Johnson
PK vacant
DL Jason Taylor
LB Donnie Edwards
LB Zach Thomas
DB Adrian Wilson
DB Ronde Barber

PotHD: LaDanian Tomlinson
DPotHD: Donnie Edwards
 

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