TLC Football All TLC Teams
All-Time First Team (1997-2021)QB Peyton Manning 18 seasons 7 All-TLC teams POTY 1999, 2004, 2013 (a record 14 years apart) 1 ring (Netboy 2014) Undefeated regular season for Smack in 1999 6 50+ games RB LaDainian Tomlinson 11 seasons 6 straight All-TLC POTY 2005 and 2006 5 straight years #1 pick Only #1 pick to reach the ECSB (Guy 2004) 1 ring and ECSB MVP (Dwight 2002) 4 50+ games RB Adrian Peterson 15 seasons 6 All-TLC 2012 POTY 3-time #1 pick 1 ring (Robert 2011) WR Marvin Harrison 11 seasons Record 7 straight All-TLC 2 rings 2003 (Norm) and 2006 (Netboy) Undefeated regular season for Smack in 1999 WR Antonio Brown 10 seasons 5 All-TLC 2017 POTY, 2014 co-POTY 1 ring (Robert 2011) Only player to score 50 points without a touchdown Ugh PK Adam Vinatieri 23 seasons 3 All-TLC 3 20-point games 1 ring (Sam 2013) Undefeated regular season for Smack in 1999 DL JJ Watt 11 seasons 6 All-TLC 2 DPOTY (2012, 2014) 1 ring (Sam 2020) LB Ray Lewis 16 seasons 8 All-TLC 3 DPOTY (1999, 2001, 2003) 2 rings (Sam 2001 and 2012) 2 40+ games Only defensive player ever drafted in the first round (Sam 2000) LB Bobby Wagner 10 seasons 5 straight All-TLC 3 DPOTY (2017, 2018, 2021) 1 ring (Julianna 2019) 51 points in week 13, 2018 DB Rodney Harrison 12 seasons 4 All-TLC 2 DPOTY (1997, 2004) DB Budda Baker 5 seasons 3 All-TLC DPOTY 2020 2 rings (Julianna 2019, Sam 2020) All-Time All-TLC Best Offense: RB LaDainian Tomlinson Defense LB Ray Lewis |
All-Time Second Team (1997-2021)QB Tom Brady 21 seasons 3 All-TLC teams 2 POTY (2017, 2015) 1 ring (Netboy 2006) 6 50+ games RB Marshall Faulk 9 seasons 4 straight All-TLC POTY 2000 2 rings (Jeff 2000 and Robert 2005) ECSB MVP in 2000 and 2001 RB Priest Holmes 9 seasons Back to back POTY 2002-3 1 ring (Norm 2003) Points title for Netboy 1998 WR Randy Moss 13 seasons 4 All-TLC 3 50+ games 57 points on 3 catches in week 13, 1998 WR Terrell Owens 15 seasons 4 All-TLC POTY 2001 PK Stephen Gostkowski 15 seasons 3 All-TLC 3 20-point games 2 rings (Norm 2017, Sam 2020) DL Jason Taylor 12 seasons 4 All-TLC 36 points in week 6, 2011 1 ring (Dwight 2002) DL Michael Strahan 11 seasons 4 All-TLC 1 ring (Norm 2007) LB Derrick Brooks 12 seasons 5 All-TLC DPOTY 2000 2 rings (Cory 1998, Robert 2005) 2 40+ games LB Donnie Edwards 12 seasons 6 All-TLC 1 ring (Wolf 2004) DB Landon Collins 7 seasons 3 All-TLC DPOTY 2016 |
All-Time Third Team (1997-2021)QB Aaron Rodgers 14 seasons 5 All-TLC POTY 2011 2 rings (Sam 2013, Big Dave 2018) ECSB MVP 2016 and 2018 4 50+ games RB Edgerrin James 10 seasons 4 All-TLC RB Matt Forte 10 seasons 3 All-TLC 2 rings (Sam 2012, Dean 2016) WR Calvin Johnson 9 seasons 4 All-TLC 2 rings (Dwight 2009, Laura 2010) 1 team name on the trophy WR Larry Fitzgerald 17 seasons 4 All-TLC Record 4 rings (Robert 2005, Norm 2007, Dwight 2009, Sam 2020) PK David Akers 14 seasons 5 All-TLC 1 ring (Wolf 2004) DL Jason Pierre-Paul 12 seasons 3 All-TLC 1 ring (Steve 2017) 9 fingers DL Jared Allen 10 seasons 4 All-TLC 1 ring (Robert 2011) LB Patrick Willis 8 seasons 4 All-TLC DPOTY 2008, 2009 1 ring (Norm 2007) ECSB MVP 2007 LB Zach Thomas 13 seasons 3 All-TLC DPOTY 1998 (and 2004 if the rest of us knew how to vote) 1 ring (Sam 2001) DB Adrian Wilson 10 seasons 3 All-TLC 2 rings (Norm 2003, Brandon 2008) |
Special Pop and Honorable MentionsQB Drew Brees 19 seasons 5 All-TLC teams 68 points in week 8, 2015 5 50+ games QB Brett Favre First TLC draft pick ECSB II MVP QB Patrick Mahomes QB Lamar Jackson Only POTYs picked after the 4th round (9th and 12th) QB Jake Plummer QB Donovan McNabb Only QBs to start and win two ECSBs QB Brad Johnson Threw a touchdown to himself RB Alvin Kamara 5 seasons 3 All-TLC Best of the current generation RB Maurice Jones-Drew 9 seasons 1 All-TLC 3-time ECSB champ (Norm 2006-7, Robert 2011) ECSB MVP 2006 RB Terrell Davis Invented the position RB Chris Johnson 72 points in week 2, 2009 2 rings (Brandon 2008, Sam 2013) RB Frank Gore 16 TLC seasons RB Ricky Williams 9 TLC seasons 1 Wabbit season |
Special Pop and Honorable MentionsWR Tyreek Hill 5 seasons 4 All-TLC teams 63 points in week 12, 2020 WR Jimmy Smith 62 points in week 2, 2000 Record lasted 20 years WR Anquan Boldin POTY and ring in 2010 as 4th round pick WR Andre Johnson 3 All-TLC 1 yard short of 3 straight rings (Netboy 2006, Norm 2007, almost Ross 2008) PK Jason Elam Great kicker, terrible writer PK Rob Bironas 29 points in week 7, 2007 PK Justin Tucker Would have the record if Brandon hadn't benched him PK Al Del Greco Greatest player of all time. DL Julius Peppers 14 seasons 3 All-TLC 2 rings (Norm 2007, Sam 2012) DL Calais Campbell 13 seasons 1 All-TLC 2 rings (Sam 2013, Dean 2016) DL Aaron Donald 8 seasons 3 All-TLC 1 ring (Ross 2015) DL Chuck Smith 32 points in week 10, 1998 with 1-point tackles |
Special Pop and Honorable MentionsLB Brian Urlacher 13 seasons 3 All-TLC teams DPOTY 2002 LB Luke Kuechly 8 seasons 4 All-TLC ECSB MVP 2012 LB Sean Lee 53 points in week 4, 2013 LB David Harris 44 points in week 9, 2007, all on tackles LB London Fletcher 2 rings (Netboy 2006, Dwight 2009) ECSB MVP 2011 DB Eric Weddle 11 seasons 3 All-TLC DB Ronde Barber 50 points in week 7, 2006 DB Dewayne Washington Would have scored 54 points under modern rules in week 12, 1998 DB Kwamie Lassiter 3 consecutive rings (Jeff 2000, Sam 2001, Dwight 2002) DB Pat Tillman Served his country Dwight Rowley For introducing us to this shit Earl Campbell For being |
| All-TLC 1997 QB Brett Favre GB RB Terrell Davis Den RB Barry Sanders Det WR Tim Brown Oak WR Herman Moore Det PK Jason Elam Den DL Dana Stubblefield SF LB Marvcus Patton KC LB Ray Lewis Bal DB Rodney Harrison SD DB Victor Green NYJ PotY: RB Terrell Davis Den DPotY: DB Rodney Harrison SD Warm Bottle: WR Jerry Rice SF (Sam, 1st round) Best Free Agent Pick: DB Rodney Harrison SD (Tom, week 2) (Determined by Commissioner review in 2002) |
All-TLC 1998 CO-QB: Steve Young, Randall Cunningham RB Terrell Davis*++ RB Marshall Faulk WR Randy Moss* WR Antonio Freeman PK Al Del Greco CO-DL Michael Strahan and Michael McCrary LB Zach Thomas LB Derrick Brooks DB Rodney Harrison++ CO-DB: Chad Cota and Lawyer Milloy PotY: Steve Young DPotY: Zach Thomas Warm Bottle: Jeff George Best Free Agent Pick: Randall Cunningham *Unanimous selection +Each Consecutive Year All-TLC |
| All-TLC 1999
First Team |
All-TLC 2000
First team: |
| All-TLC 2001
1st Team |
All-TLC 2002 First Team QB Rich Gannon (Eric Hipple's Crew) RB Priest Holmes (Bitch Please)* RB Ricky Williams (Mudbugs) WR Marvin Harrison (Beef/Stellum/Peacekeepers)*++++ WR Hines Ward (Obviously Inferior) PK David Akers (Eric Hipple's Crew) DL Jason Taylor (Hipple's/Inferior)++ LB Brian Urlacher (U.N. Peacekeepers)+++ LB Derrick Brooks (Pu-Pu Platter) DB Adam Archuleta (Mark's Bitch) DB Rod Woodson (Sucks to Suck) Second Team QB Donovan McNabb (Apex Predators)++ RB LaDainian Tomlinson (Pu-Pu/Cockblockers/Inferior) RB Charlie Garner (Bitch Please) WR Terrell Owens (Mark's Bitch)++ WR Eric Moulds (Mudbugs/Sucks to Suck) PK Jay Feely (Obviously Inferior/Beef) DL Michael Strahan (Pu-Pu/Cockblockers)++ LB Donnie Edwards (Kelly's Heroes/Mudbugs) LB Jamie Sharper (Foreilla) DB Chris Cash (Beef) DB Brian Dawkins (Bitch Please) PotY: RB Priest Holmes* DPotY: LB Brian Urlacher Best Early (1st-3rd) Pick: RB Priest Holmes (Tom, 9th overall) Best Late (4th-18th) Pick RB Travis Henry (Smack, 4th round) Warm Bottle Award: QB Kurt Warner (Guy, 3rd overall) Best Free Agent Pick (Tie): LB Keith Bulluck (Dwight, week 4) DB Chris Cash (Big Dave, week 6) Netboy trades: Collins, McAllister, Barlow, Moulds to Sam for: Culpepper, Mack, Fred and Travis Taylor Coach of the Year: Ken Chao *Unanimous selection +Each Consecutive Year All-TLC |
| All-TLC 2003 First team: QB Daunte Culpepper Min (Duuuuudes) RB Priest Holmes KC*++ (Cockblockers/Drew Henson) RB LaDainian Tomlinson SD++ (Rasta Bay) WR Torry Holt StL* (Drew Henson/Duuuuudes) WR Randy Moss Min (Ralph Wiggum) PK Mike Vanderjagt Ind (Drew Henson) DL Mike Rucker Car (All In) LB Ray Lewis Bal* (All In) LB Donnie Edwards SD++ (Drew Henson/Duuuuudes) DB Rodney Harrison SD (Duuuuudes) DB Antoine Winfield Buf (Obviously Inferior) Second team: QB Peyton Manning Ind (Milk Plus) RB Ahman Green GB (Crotch Crickets/2nd Evil Path) RB Deuce McAllister NO (Drew Henson) WR Chad Johnson Cin (Apex Predators) WR Marvin Harrison Ind+++++ (Mudbugs/Moe Szyslak/Drew Henson) PK Jeff Wilkins StL (Ralph Wiggum) DL Michael Strahan NYG+++ (Moe Szyslak/Ralph Wiggum) DL Simeon Rice TB (Ralph Wiggum/Moe Szyslak) LB Sam Cowart NYJ (Rasta Bay) LB Dat Nguyen Dal (Mudbugs) DB Nick Harper Ind (Milk Plus) Player of the Year: RB Priest Holmes KC++ Defensive Player of the Year: LB Ray Lewis Bal* Best Early Draft Pick: WR Torry Holt StL (Norm, pick #38) Best Late Draft Pick: RB Moe Williams Min (Wolf, 13th round) Warm Bottle Award: We had so many excellent nominees, and no clear frontrunner, that I decided to split the award between all those who received a vote: QB Kurt Warner StL++ (Smack #19) RB Jerome Bettis Pit (Guy #29) QB Rich Gannon Oak (Ross #31) RB Duce Staley Phi (Kelly, 4th round) LB Mark Fields Car (Big Dave, 8th round) and a special Commissioner's citation for: WR Peerless Price Atl (Rob #37 - just ahead of Torry Holt) Best Free Agent Pick: QB Mark Bulger StL, Kelly, Week 2 Best Trade: Guy trades: to Norm for: RB Priest Holmes KC RB Marshall Faulk StL RB Aveion Cason Dal RB Kevin Faulk NE WR Chris Chambers Mia RB Rickey Williams Ind Coach of the Year: Norm Sun* *Unanimous Selection. Well, Norm would have been unanimous, but he was too shy to vote for himself. +Each consecutive year winning this award. Commissioner's Special Awards: Mark Spitz Award, for gathering the most Top Performer awards: Big Dave (11) Deer Hunter Award, for bagging the most Ten-Point Bucks: Rob (10.5) Mack Brown Award, just guess: Guy (8 in 5 different weeks) Postman Award, for the most Kai awards: Ken (5) And a special shoutout to Mr. Unappreciated, Jeff Blake, who won 4 separate Applewhites for Netboy. Just give him the damn ball! |
All-TLC 2004 First team: QB Peyton Manning Ind* (Stellum) 4/2 RB Tiki Barber NYG (One for the Thumb) RB LaDainian Tomlinson SD ('blockers/Drew Henson) 3/3 WR Terrell Owens Phi* (WMD/Sports Jerk) 2 WR Marvin Harrison Ind (Bombers/Hellfighters) 6/6 PK Adam Vinatieri NE (Stellum/Sports Jerk) DL Julius Peppers Car* (Moe Szyslak Experience) LB Zach Thomas Mia (One for the Thumb) 2 LB Derrick Brooks TB (MMM/Nameless) 5 DB Rodney Harrison NE* (Sports Jerk 2004) 6/2 DB Ed Reed Bal (Moe Szyslak/Stellum) Second team: co-QB Daunte Culpepper Min (Hellfighters) 3/2 co-QB Donovan Mcnabb Phi (Cockblockers) 3 RB Edgerrin James Ind (Rasta Bay) 3 RB Curtis Martin NYJ (Stellum) 2 WR Joe Horn NO (Running Back by Committee) WR Muhsin Muhammad Car (Nameless) PK David Akers Phi (Nameless) 2 DL Patrick Kerney Atl (INV/Drew Henson) DL Charles Grant NO (One for the Thumb/WMD) LB Ray Lewis Bal (Mudbugs/Hellfighters) 5/2 LB Donnie Edwards SD (Nameless) 4/3 DB Adrian Wilson Arz (Running Back by Committee) Player of the Year: Peyton Manning* 2 Defensive Player of the Year: Rodney Harrison 2 Best Early Draft Pick: Peyton Manning (Robert #13) 2 Best Late Draft Pick: WR Antonio Gates SD (Sam, 15th round) Warm Bottle Award: RB Kevan Barlow SF (Netboy #14) Best Free Agent Pick (tie): RB Michael Pittman TB (Sam, Week 3) RB Reuben Droughns Den (Sam, Week 5) Best Trade: I'm not sure, but it definitely involved Brian Westbrook or Randy Moss Coach of the Year (tie): Hot Tub and Wolf *Unanimous Selection. Numbers at the end of the line are number of times winning this award/consecutive years. Commissioner's Special Awards: Mark Spitz Award: Robert (13.33) Deer Hunter Award: Netboy (8.33) Mack Brown Award: Robert (8 in 6 weeks) Postman Award, for the most Kai awards: Kelly (14, or 47% of the league total) |
| All-TLC
2005 First team: QB Carson Palmer Cin* (Drew Henson) RB LaDainian Tomlinson SD* (Mudbugs) 4/4 RB Shaun Alexander Sea* (Flash 80) 2 WR Steve Smith Car* (Stellum) WR Chad Johnson Cin* (Biatch Bombers) 2 PK Neil Rackers Arz* (Victory/Excessive) DL Jason Taylor Mia* (Victory) 3 LB Jonathan Vilma NYJ* (Excessive/RBBC) LB Donnie Edwards SD (Mudbugs/Argh) 5/4 DB Adrian Wilson Arz (Done for/Soldiers) 2/2 DB Charles Tillman Chi (WMD) Second team: QB Peyton Manning Ind (Freaking Soldiers) 5/3 RB Edgerrin James Ind* (Drew Henson) 4/2 RB LaMont Jordan Oak (INV) WR Larry Fitzgerald Arz (Stellum) WR Marvin Harrison Ind (Drew Henson) 7/7 PK Lawrence Tynes KC (Bombers/Henson) DL Mike Strahan NYG (Drew Henson) 5 LB Mike Peterson Jax (RBBC) LB Zach Thomas Mia (Flash 80) 3/2 DB Terrence McGee Buf (Flash 80) DB Roy Williams Dal (Freaking Soldiers) Player of the Year: LaDainian Tomlinson Defensive Player of the Year: Jonathan Vilma Coach of the Year: Norm Sun 2 *Unanimous Selection. Numbers at the end of the line are (number of times winning this award)/(consecutive years). Best Early Draft Pick (tie): Carson Palmer(Norm #58), Steve Smith (Robert #60) Best Late Draft Pick: RB Larry Johnson KC (Norm, 5th round) Warm Bottle Award (tie): RB Jamal Lewis Bal (Wolf #4), RB JJ Arrington Arz (Sam #55) Best Free Agent Pick: WR Joey Galloway TB (Brandon, Week 4) Best Trade: Flash 80 trades WR Marvin Harrison Ind, etc to Drew Henson for WR Donte Stallworth NO, RB Ronnie Brown Mia, etc. Commissioner's Special Awards: Mark Spitz Award: Sam (12 Top Performers) Deer Hunter Award: Guy (9 2/3 10 Point Bucks) Mack Brown Award: Wolf (9 Applewhites in 5 different weeks) Postman Award: Jeff (8 Kais) Commentary: Not only were the first 8 spots unanimously all-TLC, there were only 3 votes (out of 72) among them that were even for second-team. I don't know if that's because things were more clear-cut this year, we're all getting smarter, or you all paid closer heed to my spreadsheets and Norm's cajoling. Or perhaps as Scott said "When only you four circle-jerking, 'are you a goer,' don't mind if I do, self-congratulatory replicants (and Robert and Big Dave) vote, you tend to get similar results. Free Kirby Dar Dar!!!!!" There were only a couple of surprises: Marvin Harrison kept his amazing streak alive mainly because he had an amazing streak going. By any objective measure it's hard to put him much higher than #10 WR this year. Donnie Edwards was another "rep" choice. He's a lot closer to top 4 than Harrison, but where's the love for Antonio Pierce? |
All-TLC
2006 First team: QB Peyton Manning Ind* (Henson/Force) 6/4 RB Ladainian Tomlinson SD* (smackmeisters) 5/5 RB Brian Westbrook Phi* (Bandidos Yanquis) WR Chad Johnson Cin (Force/Henson/Blockers) 3/2 WR Steve Smith Car* (Third Best) 2/2 PK Robbie Gould Chi (Biatch Bombers) DL Jason Taylor Mia* (Sweet Love/Henson) 4/2 LB DeMeco Ryans Hou* (smackmeisters) LB Keith Bulluck Ten (Excessive Force) DB Ronde Barber TB (What is Hip?) DB Adrian Wilson Arz* (Bandidos Yanquis) 3/3 Second team: QB Donovan McNabb Phi (Cockblockers) 4 RB Larry Johnson KC (Bandidos/WMD) RB Steven Jackson StL (Stellum) WR Reggie Wayne Ind (Drew Henson) WR Andre Johnson Hou (Mudbugs) PK Vacant DL Jared Allen KC* (Bandidos/Third) LB London Fletcher Buf (Mudbugs) LB Donnie Edwards SD (Third/Hoculoids) 6/5 DB Chris Hope Ten (Hoculoids) DB Kerry Rhodes NYJ (Hoculoids) Player of the Year: LaDainian Tomlinson* 2/2 Defensive Player of the Year: DeMeco Ryans Coach of the Year (tie): the Michelsens *Unanimous Selection. Numbers at the end of the line are (number of times winning this award)/(consecutive years). Best Early Draft Pick: Donovan McNabb (Robert, #50) Best Late Draft Pick: DeMeco Ryans (Smack, 7th round) Warm Bottle Award (tie): RB LaMont Jordan Oak (Rob, #8) Best Free Agent Pick: QB Tony Romo Dal (Rob, week 6) Best Trade: Drew Henson trades WR Chad Johnson Cin, LB AJ Hawk GB, RB Anthony Thomas Buf, etc. to Excessive Force for QB Peyton Manning Ind, LB Kirk Morrison Oak, etc. Best Smack: Custom Made, Ric Flair and Sam Summerlin Commissioner's Special Awards: Mark Spitz Award: Sam (11 1/6 Top Performers) Deer Hunter Award: Matt (11 2/3 Ten-Point Bucks) Postman Award: Jeff (8 Kais) Mack Brown Award: Sam (7 in 5 weeks) Commentary: LT is the first unanimous PotY since Peyton in 2004 and the first repeat since Priest in 02-03. DeMeco Ryans is the first rookie to win either side of the top awards. He may be the first rookie since Randy Moss in '98 to even make the All-TLC team. Rob was wronged for LaMont Jordan. He went right about where he should have, but his team imploded and he got hurt. The pick that was clearly wrong on draft day, by a vet who should know better, and only got worse as the season aged: Edgerrin James at #4. Ross actually had more Applewhites, but that was because he had a knack for benching or cutting players right before they would have been Top Performers. His 14 Applewhites only cost him 3 wins. I'm stealing this award for myself because the 5 games I lost because of lineup decisions were the difference between #1 playoff seed and the bizarros |
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All-TLC 2007 First team: QB Tom Brady NE* (Lupus Salictarius) RB Brian Westbrook Phi* (Cockblockers) 2/2 RB Ladainian Tomlinson SD* (Biatch/Bean Runners) 6/6 WR Randy Moss NE* (Mudbugs) 4 WR Terrell Owens Dal* (Excessive Force) 4 PK Rob Bironas Ten (Mudbugs) DL Jared Allen KC (Excessive Force) 2/2 DL Aaron Kampman GB (Lupus Salictarius) LB DeMeco Ryans Hou* (Bean Runners/Rough Riders) 2/2 LB Ray Lewis Bal* (Ze Germans/Rough Riders) 6 DB Terrence McGee Buf* (Bean Runners) 2 Second Team QB Tony Romo Dal* (worst. season. ever.) RB Adrian S. Peterson Min* (Learn to Stutter) RB Joseph Addai Ind* (RB by Committee) WR Reggie Wayne Ind* (RB by Committee) 2/2 WR Braylon Edwards Cle (WMD) PK Mason Crosby GB (Sweet Love/Stutter) DL Trent Cole Phi (Cockblockers) DL Osi Umenyiora NYG (Drew Henson/Rough Riders) LB Patrick Willis SF* (Drew Henson) DB Nate Clements SF* (Mudbugs) DB Gibril Wilson NYG (Gogoplatas) Player of the Year QB Tom Brady NE* Defensive Player of the Year DB Terrence McGee Buf Coach of the year Dwight "Hot Tub" Rowley 2 Best Early Draft Pick (rounds 1-4) QB Tom Brady #18, Wolf Best Late Draft Pick (rounds 5-18) WR Randy Moss 6th round, Netboy Warm Bottle RB Laurence Maroney #7, Sam 3 Best Free Agent Pickup QB Derek Anderson* week 2/3, Rob 2/2 Best trade Jeff trades to Hot Tub for RB Ladainian Tomlinson SD QB Peyton Manning Ind QB Alex Smith SF RB Ron Dayne Hou Best Smack Tony Romo Line Rider of Doom Commissioner's Special Awards: Mark Spitz Award: Wolf (11 Top Performers) Deer Hunter Award: Matt (11.83 Ten-Point Bucks) Mack Brown Award: Ross (12 Applewhites in 6 weeks) Postman Award: Jeff (6 Kais) |
All-TLC 2008 First team QB Kurt Warner Arz RB Marion Barber Dal RB Matt Forte Chi WR Anquan Boldin Arz WR Larry Fitzgerald Arz PK Rob Bironas Ten DL Justin Tuck NYG LB Patrick Willis SF LB Jon Beason Car DB Gibril Wilson Oak DB Yeremiah Bell Mia Second team QB Tony Romo Dal RB DeAngelo Williams Car RB Brian Westbrook Phi WR Andre Johnson Hou WR Roddy White Atl PK Mason Crosby GB DL Julius Peppers Car LB Barrett Ruud TB LB Gary Brackett Ind DB Josh Wilson Sea DB Eric Weddle SD Player of the Year: WR Anquan Boldin Arz Defensive Player of the Year: LB Patrick Willis SF Coach of the Year: Hot Tub Dwight Rowley Best Early Draft Pick (rounds 1-4): WR Anquan Boldin Arz (Brandon, pick #53) Best Late Draft Pick (rounds 5-18): RB Steve Slaton Hou (Sam, 10th round) Warm Bottle RB Willis McGahee Bal (Smack, pick #18) Best Free Agent Pick WR Lance Moore NO (Wolf, Week 5) Best Trade Eric & Laura trade Brian Westbrook, etc. to Sam for Schaub/Slaton/Ruud. |
All-TLC 2009 First team QB Aaron Rodgers GB (Full Grown Afterbirth) RB Chris Johnson Ten (it's not shit, it's clay)* RB Maurice Jones-Drew Jax (He Who Arises in Might)* WR Larry Fitzgerald Arz (Big Cruddy) WR Randy Moss NE (it's not shit, it's clay) PK David Akers Phi (Cockblockers) DL Jared Allen Min (Brahma Fear)* LB Patrick Willis SF (how do my balls taste?)* LB Jon Beason Car (Excessive Force)* DB Tyvon Branch Oak (Brahma Fear/Big Cruddy)* DB Yeremiah Bell Mia (Brahma Fear)* Second Team QB Drew Brees NO (Excessive Force) RB Ray Rice Bal (Cockblockers) RB Adrian Peterson Min (Cosmik Debris/Brahma Fear) WR Andre Johnson Hou (BC/CD/BF) WR Wes Welker NE (Better than You) PK Nate Kaeding SD (balls taste/Stellum) DL Andre Carter Was (Big Cruddy) DL Justin Tuck NYG (Better than You) LB Ray F. Lewis Bal (Brahma Fear) LB Curtis Lofton Atl (Full Grown Afterbirth) DB Brian Dawkins Den (Full Grown Afterbirth) Player of the Year: RB Chris Johnson Ten (it's not shit, it's clay) Defensive Player of the Year: LB Patrick Willis SF (how do my balls taste?)* Coach of the Year: Sam Summerlin, Brahma Fear Best Early Draft Pick (rounds 1-4): Ray Rice Bal (Guy, pick #61)* Best Late Draft Pick (rounds 5-18): Tyvon Branch Oak (Sam, 16th round) * Indicates unanimity. The rest of the awards were determined by the Commissioner. There were only 2 or 3 voters for them, and none of them agreed, so I just made my own vote count twice. With explanations, in case you want to argue. Warm Bottle (Worst Mistake on Draft Day): RB Brandon Jacobs NYG (Rob, pick #14) - There's a lot to be said for Brian Westbrook (Tommy) or Clinton Portis (Bree) here, but at least they had the decency to stop playing. Jacobs kept going out there and scoring 9 points every week until he finally got benched in week 11. Even the players he was traded for were disappointments. Best Free Agent Pick: DL Andre Carter Was (Dwight, week 3) - Picked up same week as Yeremiah Bell (Sam) and Brian Cushing (Rob), but he was more valuable. In 11 starts, he provided about 73 more points than the average starting DL would. That's as much as Peyton Manning provided above the average QB in 16 games. Best Trade: Netboy trades Michael Turner to Rob for Randy Moss - I think I understand the other trades that get all the press. Brandon panicked on Chris Johnson, Bree thought Wes Welker was hurt worse than he was, Tony Romo and DeAngelo Williams weren't actually that great. But I can't figure out how Netboy pulled this one off. Your own brother is not going to let you snowjob him, so it must have been a really smooth pitch. Best Smack: www.whosreallyincharge.com - A prime year for smack, including homages to The Band and Jethro Tull. But this one wins because it retired Eric. Best Bet: Netboy narrates a baseball game. - Lots of good bets, too, but this is the only one that made the wiki. |
All-TLC 2010 First team QB Aaron Rodgers GB* (Tommy) RB Arian Foster Hou* (Smack) RB Adrian Peterson Min* (Robert) WR Roddy White Atl* (Guy/Laura) WR Calvin Johnson Det* (Dwight/Laura) PK David Akers Phi* (Brandon/Tommy) DL Justin Tuck NYG* (Brandon) LB Stephen Tulloch Ten* (Bree) LB Paul Posluszny Buf* (Laura) DB TJ Ward Cle* (Dwight) DB Tyvon Branch Oak (Brandon) Second team QB Philip Rivers SD (Laura/Dwight) RB Peyton Hillis Cle (Laura)* RB Jamaal Charles KC (Big Dave) WR Greg Jennings GB (Tommy)* WR Reggie Wayne Ind (Tommy) PK Seabass Janikowski Oak (Matt) DL Trent Cole Phi (Ross) LB Ray F. Lewis Bal* (Robert) LB Jerod Mayo NE (Brandon) DB Bernard Pollard Hou (Tommy) DB Laron Landry Was (Wolf) Player of the Year: RB Arian Foster Hou (Smack) Defensive PotY: LB Stephen Tulloch Ten (Bree) Coach of the Year: Tommy Michelsen Best Early Pick: #25 Arian Foster (Smack) Best Late Pick: Round 14, TJ Ward (Dwight) Warm Bottle: #12 Ryan Mathews (Netboy) Best Free Agent: Week 2, Peyton Hillis (Laura) Best Trade: Week 8, Laura trades Philip Rivers and Brandon Lloyd to Dwight for Jay Cutler and Calvin Johnson. Best Smack (tie): Sam's week 10 photo hype/Dwight and Bree's week 2 feud Best Bet (tie): Smack vs Dwight "Pimp my Wiki"/ Laura vs Sam "Lawnmower" * Indicates unanimity. Repeats from last year: Rodgers, Akers, Branch, Tuck, Peterson, RF Lewis, and Smack for half of the best bet. |
All-TLC 2011 First Team QB Aaron Rodgers (brandon's a pussy)* RB LeSean McCoy (Mudbugs/Whiskey in my Whiskey) RB Ray Rice (The Other Meister) WR Wes Welker (Mudbugs/I need a DR) WR Calvin Johnson (My Team is Terrible) PK David Akers (Son of Amp Lee/Whiskey in my Whiskey) DL Jared Allen (STELLUM)* LB D'Qwell Jackson (Bro-Lo El Cuñado) LB London Fletcher (Mudbugs) DB Patrick Peterson (Sweet, Sweet Love) DB George Wilson (I need a DR) Second Team QB Drew Brees (Bro-Lo El Cuñado) RB Arian Foster (Pork Chop Express) RB Fred Jackson (I need a DR/He Who Arises in Might) WR Mike Wallace (STELLUM) WR Steve Smith (Fear Itself) PK vacant DL Terrell Suggs (Whiskey in my Whiskey) LB James Laurinaitis (Sweet, Sweet Love) LB Patrick Willis (Whiskey/Love/DR) DB Lardarius Webb (brandon's a pussy) DB Jason McCourty (Cockblockers) POY: QB Aaron Rodgers (brandon's a pussy)* DPOY: LB D'Qwell Jackson (Bro-Lo El Cuñado) * Unanimous Coach of the Year: (tie) Dwight and Greg Best early draft pick: QB Aaron Rodgers (Smack, #13) Best late draft pick: QB Cam Newton (Sam, round 11) Best free agent pick: Rob (tie) WR Victor Cruz (week 5) and RB DeMarco Murray (week 7) Warm Bottle: (tie) Jamaal Charles (Dwight #2) Peyton Hillis (Laura #20) Peyton Manning (Netboy #37) Best trade: (tie) Robert rapes Guy, Sam and Netboy make an honest all-TLC deal Best smack: Wolf. There was much, including this. |
All-TLC 2012 First team QB Robert Griffin Was (Walcott's Medicine Show) RB Adrian Peterson Min (The Other Meister)** RB Arian Foster Hou (Hit Bitch/Rick's Cafe)++ WR Brandon Marshall Chi (Mudbugs)** WR AJ Green Cin (mostly Token Chick)** PK Matt Bryant Atl (Hoculoids) DL JJ Watt Hou (Token Chick)* LB Daryl Washington Arz (Bro-Lo El Cuñado)* LB Chad Greenway Min (Rick's Cafe) DB Morgan Burnett GB (The Other Meister) DB Malcolm Jenkins NO (RB by Committee) Second team QB Drew Brees NO (Mudbugs)+ RB Ray Rice Bal (Walcott's Medicine Show)+ RB Doug Martin TB (Pork Chop Express/Mudbugs) WR Calvin Johnson Det (RB by Committee)**++ WR Wes Welker NE (Walcott's Medicine Show)+ PK Stephen Gostkowski NE (Excessive Force) DL Jason Pierre-Paul NYG (Medicine Show/Rick's Cafe)* LB James Laurinaitis StL (Hitman Monkey)+ LB Jerod Mayo NE (Cockblockers) DB Roman Harper NO (Excessive Force) DB Charles Tillman Chi (mostly Hitman Monkey) Player of the Year: RB Adrian Peterson Defensive Player of the Year: DL JJ Watt Coach of the Year: Dean Cortez Best early draft pick: RB Doug Martin TB (Matt, #36) Best late draft pick: QB Robert Griffin Was (Sam, round 6) Best free agent pick: RB Alfred Morris Was (Ross, week 2) Warm Bottle: RB Darren McFadden Oak (Dwight, #11) Best trade (tie): Dwight trades CJ Spiller and a warm bottle to Smack for Arian Foster; Matt trades James Jones and the player who will soon become Doug Martin to Netboy for Ryan Mathews and the player who used to be Miles Austin. Best smack: Doc Seuss tells how Dwight and Rayne felt the painfullous pain *Unanimous **Consensus (appeared on every ballot) Commissioner's Special Awards Michael Phelps Award: Robert Unks, 11 Paul Newmans (4 shared) Deer Hunter Award: Big Dave Estrada, 10 10-Point Bucks (1 shared) Nick Joseph Award: Smackmeister, 4 Kais Mack Brown Award: Matt Thompson, 5 wins and $50 foregone |
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All-TLC 2013 First team QB Peyton Fucking Manning Den (Cockblockers)** RB Jamaal Charles KC (Other Meister)* RB Matt Forte Chi (Token Chick)** WR Calvin Johnson Det (Melba Toast/STELLUM)*+++ WR Josh Gordon Cle (Raising Hell) PK Stephen Gostkowski NE (three teams)+ DL JJ Watt Hou (this side of the field)*+ LB Paul Pslszny Jax (Mudbugs)** LB Vontaze Burfict Cin (Melba Toast)** DB Barry Church Dal (Raising Hell)* DB Eric Weddle SD (Other Meister) Second team QB Matthew Stafford Det (Hitman Monkey) RB Adrian Peterson Min (Token Chick)+ RB Knowshon Moreno Den (Hitman Monkey) WR Demaryius Thomas Den (Brain Freeze/Melba Toast) WR Jimmy Graham NO (Hitman Monkey) PK Matt Tom F. Dempsey Prater Den (Token Chick/STELLUM) DL Chandler Jones NE (this chump/Hitman Monkey) LB Kiko Alonso Buf (Bro-Lo El Cuñado) LB Karlos Dansby Arz (Bro-Lo El Cuñado) DB Earl Thomas Sea (Arises in Might) Player of the Year QB Peyton Manning Def Player of the Year LB Paul Posluszny Coach of the Year Matt Thompson Best Early Draft Pick QB Peyton Manning Den (Guy, #26) Best Late Draft Pick WR Josh Gordon Cle (Big Dave, Round 9) Best Free Agent Pick RB Knowshon Moreno Den (Dean, Week 1) Warm Bottle RB CJ Spiller Buf (Ross, #4) Best Trade: Robert trades Tom Brady, Ray Rice and Torrey Smith to Sam for Calvin Johnson, Cam Newton and Joe Flacco. Best Wager: Brandon and Matt bet the one and only game-worn Elijah Dukes jersey. Best Smack: oh hey remember that time nick saban's wife bought a house here that was awesome Also: Netboy puts beans in his chili, Hatin' Ass Jeff Prince, and the commissioner's weekly awards. *Unanimous **Consensus (appeared on every ballot) + Each previous consecutive year Commissioner's Special Awards Michael Phelps Award: Dean Cortez, 12 Paul Newmans (1 shared) Deer Hunter Award: Sam Summerlin, 12 Ten Point Bucks (4 shared) Nick Joseph Award: Smackmeister, 5 Kais Mack Brown Award (tie): Dean and Netboy, lost 5 games and $150 each due to Applewhites This is Peyton F. Manning's unprecendented third Player of the Year award, and since he spaced them out, his third selection as Best Early Pick. He and Ray F. Lewis are the only three-time winners of the major awards. His last PoTY was in 2004, when Rodney Harrison set the previous record for most years between major awards (seven). Peyton also matched his old teammate Marvin Harrison's record by making his seventh All-TLC team. Just two years ago he and Jamaal Charles tied for Warm Bottle. He is the fifth PoTY and second in a row to miss the playoffs. |
All-TLC 2014 First Team QB Andrew Luck Ind (D&D Grackle Stars) RB Matt Forte Chi (Pork Chop Express)*+ RB Le'Veon Bell Pit (Mudbugs)** WR Antonio Brown Pit (The Cruddy Men)* WR Demaryius Thomas Den (Hingle McCringleberry)**+ PK Adam Vinatieri Ind (Pork Chop Express) DL JJ Watt Hou (Just Another Volunteer)*++ LB DeAndre Levy Det (The Cruddy Men)** LB Luke Kuechly Car (Flaming Romosexuals)** DB Morgan Burnett GB (Brain Freeze)** DB Harrison Smith Min (Hitman Monkey) Second Team QB Aaron Rodgers GB (Token Chick)** RB DeMarco Murray Dal (Bro-Lo El Cuñado)** RB Marshawn Lynch Sea (Arrr, I Don't Know What I'm Doin') WR Jeremy Maclin Phi (Mudbugs) WR Jordy Nelson GB (Maulers) PK Cody Parkey Phi (Hitman Monkey/Brain Freeze) DL Julius Peppers GB (RB by Committee) LB Lavonte David TB (Hingle McCringleberry)** LB CJ Mosely Bal (Pork Chop Express) DB Barry Church Dal (Hingle McCringleberry)+ DB Eric Weddle SD (Hitman Monkey)+ Player of the Year (tie) WR Antonio Brown Pit (The Cruddy Men) QB Andrew Luck Ind (D&D Grackle Stars) Defensive Player of the Year DL JJ Fucking Watt Hou (Just Another Volunteer)* Manager of the Year Netboy Michelsen Best Early Draft Pick JJ Watt (Sam, pick #49) Best Late Draft Pick CJ Mosely (Matt, round 10) Warm Bottle RB Adrian Peterson Min (Big Dave, pick #3) Best Free Agent Pick (tie) Laura: RB Justin Forsett Bal, Week 2 Ross: LB Chris Borland SF, Week 9 Best Trade Matt trades Vernon Davis to Dwight for Golden Taint. Best Smack TS Eliot via Sam: The Cruddy Men *Unanimous **Consensus (appeared on every ballot) Commissioner's Special Awards Michael Phelps Award: Sam, 12 Paul Newmans (2 shared) Deer Hunter Award: Steve, 12 10-Point Bucks (3 shared) Nick Joseph Award: Jason, 4 Kais Mack Brown Award: Wolf, 9 Applewhites for 5 missed wins Comments: JJ Watt and Matt Forte are the only repeats from last year's first team, although Barry Church and Eric Weddle moved from first to second while Demaryius Thomas moved from second to first. Remember when you could count on LT or Marshall Faulk every year? Now we've had 10 different All-TLC RBs in 3 seasons. Watt finished third in the PoY voting and is the first unanimous DPoY since Patrick Willis in 2009. This is his second DPoY, tying him with Willis and Rodney Harrison for second behind RFL. I left some ties unbroken, but I did pick a winner in the three-way tie for Warm Bottle. Every year some RBs flame out, but who are you going to remember 10 years from now? The dude with the switch. Most interesting tie was for free agent: picking up an above-average RB in week 2 is a strong move, and Forsett made the difference in the division race. On the other had Ross only had Borland for 4 weeks, but in those 6 games he averaged 30 points. That adds up to more points above the average LB than Kuechly or Levy scored in their full seasons. I can't believe you people couldn't think of a better trade. And yes, you read that right: without the Applewhites Wolf would have been in the playoffs. |
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All-TLC 2015 First team QB Tom Brady NE (Big Pimpin' PAT)** RB Adrian Peterson Min (Cincinnati Time Waste)* RB Devonta Freeman Atl (Judge Smails' Army)** WR Antonio Brown Pit (Bro-Lo El Cuñado)**+ WR Odell Beckham NYG (Hitman Monkey)** PK Stephen Gostkowski NE (Aaron Rodgers, Porn Star) DL JJ Watt Hou (Man of Skill)*+++ LB Telvin Smith Jax (Cincinnati Time Waste)* LB D'Qwell Jackson Ind (Brain Freeze) DB Reshad Jones Mia (1UP)* DB Malcolm Jenkins Phi (Running Back by Committee) Second team QB Cam Newton Car (Brain Freeze/Man of Skill) RB Mark Ingram NO (Judge Smails' Army/1UP) RB Doug Martin TB (Aaron Rodgers, Porn Star) WR Julio Jones Atl (GlassJoes)** WR DeAndre Hopkins Hou (Running Back by Committee) PK Chris Boswell Pit (Brain Freeze/Man of Skill) DL Aaron Donald StL (Brain Freeze)** LB Navarro Bowman SF (Aaron Rodgers, Porn Star) LB Luke Kuechly Car (Mudbugs)+ DB Tyrann Mathieu Arz (Brain Freeze) DB Corey Graham Buf (Cincinnati Time Waste) Player of the Year WR Antonio Brown Pit (Bro-Lo El Cuñado)+ Defensive Player of the Year DB Reshad Jones Mia (1UP)* Manager of the Year Dwight Rowley (1UP)* *Unanimous **Consensus (appeared on every ballot) + Each previous consecutive year Best Early Draft Pick Tom Brady (Big Dave, #32) Best Late Draft Pick Telvin Smith (Josh, Round 12) Warm Bottle WR Dez Bryant Dal (Sam, pick #15) Best Free Agent Pick Devonta Freeman (Ross, Week 3) Best Trade: Week 4, Ross trades Marcus Mariota and Calvin Johnson to Sam for Cam Newton and Larry Fitzgerald. Best Wager Big Dave's Christmas card. Commissioner's Special Awards Michael Phelps Award Sam, 12 Paul Newmans (1 shared) Deer Hunter Award Jason, 15 Ten Point Bucks (4 shared) Nick Joseph Award Josh, 3 Kais Mack Brown Award (tie) Josh, 14 Applewhites for 4 missed wins and $125 Mick, 14 Applewhites for 2 missed wins, 2 missed ties and $125 Comments The only returning All-TLC players are Antonio Brown, JJ Watt and Luke Kuechly. Antonio Brown, who tied for the award last year, is the first back-to-back Player of the Year since LaDainian Tomlinson in 2005-06. JJ Watt joins Tomlinson and Marshall Faulk in making All-TLC in their 2nd-5th years in the league. This is Dwight's unprecedented 5th manager of the year award (including two ties) and he'd have a couple more if we'd given the award before 2002. Netboy and Norm Sun are the only others to win it twice. This is the second time Sam has traded away Cam Newton and Calvin Johnson in the trade of the year, but he won the last one. |
All-TLC 2016 First team QB Drew Brees NO (Bro-Lo El Cuñado)** RB David Johnson Arz (Moonlight/Maulers)* RB Ezekiel Elliot Dal (Hitman Monkey)* WR Antonio Brown Pit (Mudbugs/Kitchen)*++ WR Mike Evans TB (CONFUSED TRAVOLTA)** PK Justin Tucker Bal (Charles in Charge) DL Khalil Mack Oak (GlassJoes)* LB Alec Ogletree Stl (F Bomb's)* LB Luke Kuechly Car (GlassJoes)++ DB Landon Collins NYG (Hitman Monkey)* DB Johnathan Cyprien Jax (Charles in Charge) Second Team QB Aaron Rodgers GB (Charles in Charge) RB Le'Veon Bell Pit (Dak Attack)** RB Melvin Gordon SD (Mudbugs Sr) WR Odell Beckham NYG (Kitchen/Pennant)+ WR Larry Fitzgerald Arz (Token Chick) PK Adam Vinatieri Ind (KAEPERNICK/F Bomb's) DL Jason Pierre-Paul NYG (I AM KAEPERNICK)** LB Vontaze Burfict Cin (F Bomb's) LB Kwon Alexander TB (Maulers) DB Tony Jefferson Arz (Mudbugs/Pennant) DB Keanu Neal Atl (GlassJoes) Player of the Year RB David Johnson Arz (Serious Moonlight/Maulers) Defensive Player of the Year DB Landon Collins NYG (Hitman Monkey) Manager of the Year Dean Cortez (Hitman Monkey) Best Early Draft Pick Mike Evans (Smack, pick #19) Best Late Draft Pick DB Landon Collins NYG (Dean, Round 7) Warm Bottle RB Jamaal Charles KC (Brandon, pick #13) Best Free Agent Pick (tie) LB Zach Brown Buf (Brandon, Week 3) RB Jordan Freeman Chi (Sam, Week 3) Best Trade: Week 10, Netboy trades Antonio Brown, Cam Newton and Jonathan Stewart to Tim for Matt Ryan and Bobby Wagner, etc. Best Wager Bellhop Bitch. *Unanimous **Consensus (appeared on every ballot) + Each previous consecutive year Commissioner's Special Awards Michael Phelps Award Jason: 10 Paul Newmans Deer Hunter Award Sam, 19 Ten Point Bucks (6 shared) Nick Joseph Award (tie) Mick and Smack, 3 Kais each Mack Brown Award (tie) Josh+, 11 Applewhites for 4 missed wins Comments This is the third straight All-TLC selection for Antonio Brown and Luke Kuechly. Odell Beckham is the only other player returning from last year. This is the first time since 2010 that a RB not named Adrian Peterson has been PotY. It is the 10th time a RB has won. Landon Collins is the 2nd straight DB to win DPotY. This is the 5th time a DB has won. He was not unanimous, but he did finish 3rd in PotY voting. Last year Sam won the Michael Phelps and Jason won the Deer Hunter. At least Josh has settled into the Mack Brown role. Special shout-out to Davante Adams and Willie Snead, with 3 Applewhites apiece. Maybe some day they can grow up to coach their team to a bowl loss. |
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All-TLC 2017 First team QB Russell Wilson Sea (Jerk Store/Finest Whines)* RB Le'Veon Bell Pit (Finest Whines)*+ RB Todd Gurley LA (Unsolicited Dick Pics) WR Antonio Brown Pit (Jerk Store)+++ WR DeAndre Hopkins Hou (Axecutioners) PK Greg Zuerlein LAR (Bro-Lo/Dick Pics) DL Joey Bosa LAC (Finest Whines)* LB Bobby Wagner Sea (F Bombs)* LB CJ Mosely Bal (Maulers) DB Landon Collins NYG (Bobcats on Booze)*+ DB Reshad Jones Mia (F Bombs) Second Team QB Carson Wentz Phi (Birdie Queen) RB Alvin Kamara NO (Jerk Store/Finest Whines) RB Kareem Hunt KC (GlassJoes) WR Keenan Allen LAC (Jerk Store) WR Tyreek Hill KC (NEVERMIND) PK Chris Boswell Pit (Cruddy/Dead) DL Calais Campbell Jax (Token Chick) DL DeMarcus Lawrence Dal (Axecutioners) LB Blake Martinez GB (Birdie Queen) DB Keanu Neal Atl (GlassJoes)+ DB Kevin Byard Ten (Honored Dead) Player of the Year WR Antonio Brown Pit (Jerk Store) Defensive Player of the Year LB Bobby Wagner Sea (F Bombs) Manager of the Year Matt Thompson (Finest Whines) Best Early Draft Pick WR Tyreek Hill KC (Smack, round 3) Best Late Draft Pick RB Alvin Kamara NO (Jon, Round 17) Warm Bottle RB Jay Ajayi Phi (Laura, pick #13) Best Free Agent Pick LB Blake Martinez GB (Julianna, week 5) Best Trade: *Week 8 Matt trades to Jon for Watson, Deshaun HOU QB Wilson, Russell SEA QB Anderson, C.J. DEN RB Kamara, Alvin NOS RB Best Smack Sam revisits the Boyz-n-the-Hood Best Wager Ric Flair robe, promo and film. * Unanimous + Each previous consecutive year Commissioner's Special Awards Michael Phelps Award Brandon: 12 Paul Newmans (2 shared) Deer Hunter Award Mick: 16 Ten Point Bucks (6 shared) Nick Joseph Award Jon: 3 Kais each Mack Brown Award (tie) Julianna: 8 for 3 losses Dean: 8 for 2 losses and 2 ties made or broken Each of them also blew a chance for all double-digits The Hustler RB Alvin Kamara NO (3.5 Paul Newmans) because kickers don't count Ten Point Buckest QB Dak Prescott Dal (3) Major Applewhite DB Barry Church Dal (3) |
All-TLC 2018 First team QB Patrick Mahomes KC (F Bombs)* RB Todd Gurley LAR (F Bombs)*+ RB Saquon Barkley NYG (Token Chick)* WR Tyreek Hill KC (The Jerk Store)*+ WR Adam Thielen Min (F Bombs) PK Will Lutz NO (various) DL JJ Watt Hou (Is it Halftime? I Retire) LB Bobby Wagner Sea (Mudbugs/Liam)*+ LB Luke Kuechly Car (One Knee Down) DB Jamal Adams NYJ (Liam and Me)* DB Antoine Bethea Arz (Players on Waivers) Second Team QB Drew Brees NO (Liam and Me) RB Alvin Kamara NO (Players on Waivers)+ RB Christian McCaffrey Car (Birdie Queen) WR Antonio Brown Pit (Jerk Store)++++ WR Michael Thomas NO (Liam and Me) DL Aaron Donald LAR (Players on Waivers) LB Kiko Alonso Mia (Birdie Queen) LB Leighton Vander Esch Dal (Glass/Hitman) DB Derwin James LAC (Mudbugs Sr) DB Budda Baker Arz (One Knee Down) Player of the Year QB Patrick Mahomes KC (F Bombs) Defensive Player of the Year LB Bobby Wagner Sea (Mudbugs Sr/Liam and Me)+ Manager of the Year Netboy Michelsen (Mudbugs Sr) Best Early Draft Pick WR Adam Thielen Min (Ross, round 3) Best Late Draft Pick QB Patrick Mahomes KC (Ross, Round 9) Warm Bottle RB Le'Veon Bell Pit (Jon, pick #2)* Best Free Agent Pick LB James Conner Pit (Big Dave, week 1) Best Trade: Week 11 Kyle trades to Netboy for Allen, Keenan LAC WR Lockett, Tyler SEA WR Ertz, Zach PHI TE Gronkowski, Rob NEP TE Bernard, Giovani CIN RB Mack, Marlon IND RB Best Smack Dwight sends apology cards. Best Wager Big Dave serves Sam lunch. * Unanimous + Each previous consecutive year Commissioner's Special Awards Cool Hand Award Sam: 11 Paul Newmans The Hustler QB Patrick Mahomes KC (6) Deer Hunter Award Brandon: 15 Ten Point Bucks (6 shared) Ten Point Buckest WR Marquise Goodwin SF (3) Nick Joseph Award Smack: 5 Kais Mack Brown Award Laura: 9 Applewhites for 5.5 losses Major Applewhite (tie) WR Eric Ebron Ind (3) WR DeSean Jackson TB (3) |
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All-TLC 2019 First team QB Lamar Jackson Bal (Demagoguery Reigns) RB Christian McCaffrey Car (BAD DEFENSE)+ RB Dalvin Cook Min (Jerk Store) WR Michael Thomas NO (Mudbugs Sr)+ WR DeAndre Hopkins Hou (RB by Committee) PK Justin Tucker NO (Demagoguery Reigns) DL Cameron Heyward Pit (Bro-Lo El Cuñado) LB Joe Schobert Cle (RB by Committee) LB Blake Martinez Car (Big Dave's Repeat) DB Budda Baker Arz (Birdie Queen)+ DB Landon Collins NYG (GlassJoe) Second Team QB DeShaun Watson Hou (BAD DEFENSE) RB Derrick Henry Ten (Ace of Spades) RB Aaron Jones GB (Players on Waivers) WR Kenny Golladay Det (Big Dave's Repeat) WR Julio Jones Atl (Hitman Monkey) PK Will Lutz NO (Hitman Monkey/Mudbugs Sr) DL DeForest Buckner SF (Fuster Cluck) LB Darius Leonard Ind (GlassJoe/Ezekiel) LB Bobby Wagner Sea (Birdie Queen)++ DB Jamal Adams NYJ (Players on Waivers)+ DB Logan Ryan Ten (BAD DEFENSE) + Each previous consecutive year Player of the Year QB Lamar Jackson (Demagoguery Reigns) Defensive Player of the Year LB Joe Schobert (Running Back by Committee) Manager of the Year Dean Cortez (Hitman Monkey) Best Early Draft Pick QB DeShaun Watson Hou (Smack, round 3) Best Late Draft Pick QB Lamar Jackson Bal (Dwight, Round 12) Warm Bottle WR Antonio Brown (Big Dave, pick #19) Best Free Agent Pick LB Zach Cunningham Pit (Rob, week 3) Best Trade: Week 10 Jason trades to Steve for Rodgers, Aaron GBP QB Rivers, Philip LAC QB Cohen, Tarik CHI RB Elliott, Ezekiel DAL RB Kupp, Cooper LAR WR Henry, Hunter LAC TE Littleton, Cory LAR LB Leonard, Darius IND LB Best Smack Big Dave, Tender Lover. Best Wager Sam caddies for Big Dave in ugly golf pants. Commissioner's Special Awards Cool Hand Award Dean: 13 Paul Newmans (1 shared) The Hustler DB Budda Baker Arz (4) Deer Hunter Award Mick: 12 Ten Point Bucks (5 shared) Ten Point Buckest (tie) WR Adam Thielen Min (2) DL DJ Reader Hou (2) Nick Joseph Award Mick: 5 Kais Mack Brown Award (tie) Jon: 14 Applewhites for 3 losses and 2 weekly prizes Dean: 12 Applewhites for 4 losses, 1 tie, and 1 all-time high score Major Applewhite WR Mecole Hardeman KC (3) Lifetime Achievement Award I close this year with a special award for Adam Vinatieri, the only man who has played in all 23 TLC seasons. Though his career is almost certainly over, it will not be forgotten. He scored 2590 points in 317 TLC games for 18 different franchises. During his career he was involved in trades for Emmitt Smith, Ladainian Tomlinson, Andre Johnson and DeAndre Hopkins. He was a part of Smack's undefeated 1999 regular season, and he won a ring on his third try in ECSB XVII with Melba Toast. He held the single game kicking record for the first two seasons of the league and still has 2 of the top 10 games-- kicked almost 12 years apart. He is a 3-time all-TLCer and his teams were 173-144 when he started. If he has indeed left us, it is the end of an era. The TLC salutes you, Mr. Vinatieri! |
All-TLC 2020 First Team QB Kyler Murray Arz (Never Tell Me the Odds) RB Alvin Kamara NO (Fuster Cluck) RB Dalvin Cook Min (Only Here For The NFL Pool)+ WR Davante Adams GB (F Bombs) WR Tyreek Hill KC (Birdie Queen) PK Younghoe Koo Atl (Mudbugs/Hitman Monkey) DL JJ Watt Hou (Sweet and Dandy) LB Zach Cunningham Hou (RB by Committee) LB Roquan Smith Chi (GlassJoe) DB Budda Baker Arz (Sweet and Dandy)++ DB Jordan Poyer Buf (Jerk Store/Never Tell Me) Second Team QB Russell Wilson Sea (Hitman Monkey) RB Derrick Henry Ten (Token Spick)+ RB Aaron Jones GB (Sweet and Dandy/Token Chick)+ WR Keenan Allen LAC (Never Tell Me the Odds) WR DK Metcalf Sea (Token Spick) PK Justin Tucker Bal (Only Here For The NFL Pool)+ DL Jason Pierre-Paul TB (Never Tell Me/Fuster Cluck) DL Myles Garrett Cle (Never Tell Me the Odds) LB Eric Kendricks Min (RB by Committee) LB Bobby Wagner Sea (F Bombs)+++ DB Jessie Bates Cin (Token Spick) + Each previous consecutive year Player of the Year RB Dalvin Cook (Only Here For The NFL Pool) Defensive Player of the Year DB Budda Baker (Sweet and Dandy) Manager of the Year Mick Hannah (Bro-Lo El Cuñado) Best Early Draft Pick QB Kyler Murray (Dwight, round 4) Best Late Draft Pick WR Justin Jefferson Min (Smack, round 16) Warm Bottle RB Saquon Barkley NYG (Dean, pick #2) Best Free Agent Pick RB James Robinson Jax (Sam, week 1) Best Trade: Sam trades Aaron Jones GBP RB; Jared Goff LAR QB; DeVante Parker MIA WR to Laura for DeAndre Hopkins ARI WR and Deshaun Watson HOU QB Best Smack Silent Rob drops the mic with "I'm Bad". Best Wager The legendary fanny pack. Commissioner's Special Awards Cool Hand Award Sam: 15 Paul Newmans (3 shared) The Hustler DB Budda Baker Arz (5)+ Deer Hunter Award Smack: 11 Ten Point Bucks (6 shared) Ten Point Buckest PK Ka'imi Fairbairn Hou (3) Nick Joseph Award (tie) Ross, Laura, Rob: 3 Kais Mack Brown Award Brandon: 14 Applewhites for 6 losses and $50 Major Applewhite RB Damien Harris NE (4) |
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All-TLC 2021 First team QB Tom Brady TB (Fuster Cluck) RB Jonathan Taylor Ind (ANOTHER YEAR) RB Austin Ekeler LAC (Surf's Up, Pal) WR Cooper Kupp LAR (Name, Image, and Likeness) WR Justin Jefferson Min (Turd Ferguson) PK Nick Folk NE (Turd Ferguson) DL Cameron Heyward Pit (Roll Biatch Roll) DL Myles Garrett Cle (Still an Artist/I Own You)+ LB Bobby Wagner Sea (GlassJoe/RBBC)++++ LB Foyesade Oluokun Atl (ANOTHER YEAR) DB Derwin James LAC (GlassJoe) Second Team QB Matthew Stafford LAR (F Bombs) RB Najee Harris Pit (Running Back by Committee) RB Derrick Henry Ten (Birdie Queen)++ WR Tyreek Hill KC (GlassJoe)+ WR Davante Adams GB (F Bombs)+ PK Matt Gay LAR (Fuster Cluck/F Bombs) DL Aaron Donald LAR (The Jerk Store) LB Roquan Smith Chi (Turd Ferguson)+ LB Denzel Perryman LV (ANOTHER YEAR) DB Jordan Poyer Buf (Touchdown Hunts)+ DB Harrison Smith Min (ANOTHER YEAR) + Each previous consecutive year Player of the Year RB Jonathan Taylor Ind (ANOTHER YEAR) Defensive Player of the Year LB Bobby Wagner Sea (GlassJoe/RBBC) Manager of the Year Dean Cortez (Turd Ferguson) Best Early Draft Pick RB Jonathan Taylor Ind (Smack, pick 11) Best Late Draft Pick WR Deebo Samuel SF (Smack+, round 12) Warm Bottle RB Christian McCaffrey (Dean+, pick #1) Best Free Agent Pick WR Cordarrelle Patterson Atl (Big Dave, week 2) Best Trade: Ross trades WR Tyler Lockett Sea and washout rookie RB to Netboy for LB De'Vondre Campbell GB and snaggletooth WR Best Smack Jon, on himself: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I- I took the one less gaping-holeish. Best Wager Whatever horrible shirts Dean and Smack make Sam wear. Commissioner's Special Awards Cool Hand Award Dean: 13 Paul Newmans (4 shared) The Hustlers DL Cameron Heyward Pit, RB Jonathan Taylor Ind, PK Nick Folk NE, DL Sam Hubbard Cin (3) Deer Hunter Award Mick: 15 Ten Point Bucks (4 shared) Ten Point Buckest QB Matt Ryan Atl (3) Nick Joseph Award (tie) Jeff: 11 Kais Mack Brown Award Brandon+: 10 Applewhites for 6 losses and $125 Major Applewhite WR TJ Hockenson Det (3) |
All-TLC 2022 First team QB Patrick Mahomes KC (Surf's Up, Pal) RB Austin Ekeler LAC (Surf's Up, Pal)+ RB Josh Jacobs LV (The Jerk Store) WR Justin Jefferson Min (The Jerk Store)+ WR Tyreek Hill Mia (Mudbugs/GlassJoe)++ PK Daniel Carlson LV (Bro-Lo/Birdie Queen) DL Maxx Crosby LV (Bad, Nationwide/Birdie Queen) LB Foyesade Oluokun Jax (Birdie Queen/Bad, Nationwide)+ LB Jordyn Brooks Sea (ANOTHER YEAR) DB Derwin James LAC (One Eyed Chubb)+ DB Julian Love NYG (I'm Bad, I'm Nationwide) Second Team QB Josh Allen Buf (The Jerk Store) RB Christian McCaffrey Car/SF (Mudbugs Sr) RB Derrick Henry Ten (Bro-Lo El Cuñado)+++ WR Cooper Kupp LAR (I'm Bad, I'm Nationwide)+ WR Davante Adams LV (F Bombs)++ PK Justin Tucker Bal (Surf's Up/Hitman Monkey) DL Nick Bosa SF (Surf's Up/RB by Committee) LB Roquan Smith Chi/Bal (Surf's Up, Pal)++ LB Nick Bolton KC (Fuster Cluck) DB Harrison Smith Min (The Jerk Store)+ DB L'Jarius Sneed KC (F Bombs) + Each previous consecutive year Player of the Year RB Austin Ekeler LAC (Surf's Up, Pal) Defensive Players of the Year DL Maxx Crosby LV and LB Foyesade Oluokun Jax (Birdie Queen/I'm Bad, I'm Nationwide) Manager of the Year Jason Miller Best Early Draft Pick QB Jalen Hurts Phi (Mick, pick #61) Best Late Draft Pick RB Tony Pollard Dal (Rob, 7th round) Warm Bottle RB Jonathan Taylor Ind (Smack, #1) Best Free Agent Pick LB Zaire Franklin Ind (Big Dave+, week 3) Best Trade: Netboy+ trades Tyreek Hill, D'onta Foreman and a pack of Newports to Steve for Dameon Pierce, Kareem Hunt and some Puma sweats Best Smack ??? Best Wager Mmm... that is a tasty burger. Commissioner's Special Awards Cool Hand Award Jon: 11 Paul Newmans (2 shared) The Hustler DL Maxx Crosby LV (4) Deer Hunter Award Julianna: 14 Ten Point Bucks (2 shared) Ten Point Buckest PK Matt Prater Arz (3) Nick Joseph Award Neil: 5 Kais Mack Brown Award Big Dave: 14 Applewhites for 4 losses and $100 Major Applewhite WR Garrett Wilson NYJ (3) for a tie and $100 Vizzini Award DL Jonathan Allen Was, for winning Paul Newman, Ten Point Buck, and Applewhite awards in consecutive weeks. |
Team of the Decade 1997-2006
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First Team QB Peyton Manning
4 1st Team All TLC
RB Marshall F. Faulk2 2nd Team All TLC PotY 1997, Smack's 18-0 team PotY 2004 4 Top 10 performances
2 1st Team All TLC
RB LaDainian Tomlinson1 2nd Team All TLC PotY 2000, Jeff's title team MVP of 2000 & 2001 ECSB People's Choice
4 1st Team All TLC
1 2nd Team All TLC PotY 2005 & 2006 ECSB MVP 2002 WR Marvin Harrison
4 1st Team All TLC
3 2nd Team All TLC 4 ECSBs, 2 rings WR Randy Moss
2 1st Team All TLC
1 2nd Team All TLC 3 Top 10 performances PK Al Del Greco
Best. Player. Ever.
DL Jason Taylor
2 1st Team All TLC
2 2nd Team All TLC 3 Top 10 performances 2 game-winning touchdowns LB Ray F. Lewis
4 1st Team All TLC
1 2nd Team All TLC DPotY 1999, 2001, 2003 #7 overall scorer 2003 2 Top 10 performances LB Derrick Brooks
5 1st Team All TLC
DPotY 2000 2 Top 10 performances DB Rodney Harrison
6 1st Team All TLC
DPY 1997 & 2004 (only DB) DB Adrian Wilson
2 1st Team All TLC
1 All TLC 2nd Team Player of the Decade: Marshall Faulk |
Second Team QB Daunte Culpepper
2 1st Team All TLC
1 2nd Team All TLC Led Netboy to 2002 ECSB RB Edgerrin James
2 1st Team All TLC
2 All TLC 2nd Team 7 straight 1st-round picks Led Ross and Norm to ECSB RB Priest Holmes
2 1st Team All TLC
Led Netboy's 15-3 team in 1998 PotY 2002 PotY 2003 for Norm's title team WR Terrell Owens
PotY 2001 (Only WR)
2 1st Team All TLC 1 2nd Team All TLC WR Rod Smith
2 1st Team All TLC
10-year starter PK Jason Elam
Tom Fucking Dempsey
DL Michael Strahan
2 1st Team All TLC
3 2nd Team All TLC LB Donnie Edwards
2 1st Team All TLC
3 2nd Team All TLC Led Wolf's 2004 title run 3 Top 10 performances LB Zach Thomas
2 All TLC 1st Teams
1 All TLC 2nd Team DPotY 1998 DB Lawyer Milloy
2 1st Team All TLC
DB Victor Green
1 1st Team All TLC
1 2nd Team All TLC Defensive Player of the Decade: Ray Lewis |
Third Team QB Donovan McNabb
4 2nd Team All TLC
Special Pop: Brett Favre: 1st player ever drafted, never missed a game due to injury. Steve Beuerlein killed the kraken in 99. RB Terrell F. Davis
2 1st Team All TLC
OPY 1997, led Scott's 12-2 team First to earn the middle name. RB Tiki Barber
1 1st Team All TLC
Won first draft-day drink service. Special Pop: Corey Dillon had a good game once. WR Chad Johnson
2 1st Team All TLC
1 2nd Team All TLC WR Steve Smith
2 1st Team All TLC
Led Robert's title team in 2005 Special Pop: Jimmy Smith: the shovel. DL Julius Peppers
1 1st Team All TLC
1 2nd Team All TLC Special pop: Chuck Smith, for an improbably long-lasting record. LB Brian Urlacher
2 1st Team All TLC
1 2nd Team All TLC DPotY 2002 2 Top 10 performances LB Keith Bulluck
1 1st Team All TLC
#5 LB in '02 and '04 Special pop: DeMeco Ryans, 2006 DPotY as rookie DB Kwamie Lassiter
1 1st Team All TLC
Only player with 3 rings ('00-'02) DB Pat Tillman
1 All TLC 1st Team
Special pop: Ronde Barber, best defensive game ever Rod Woodson, MNF. |
| All-TLC 1997-2001 - Players of the First
Half-Decade QB Peyton Manning RB Marshall Faulk RB Terrell Davis WR Marvin Harrison WR Rod Smith PK Al Del Greco DL Michael Strahan LB Ray Lewis LB Derrick Brooks DB Rodney Harrison DB Lawyer Milloy PotHD: Marshall Faulk DPotHD: Ray Lewis |
All-TLC
2002-2006 - Players of the Second Half-Decade QB Peyton Manning RB LaDainian Tomlinson RB Priest Holmes WR Marvin Harrison WR Chad Johnson PK vacant DL Jason Taylor LB Donnie Edwards LB Zach Thomas DB Adrian Wilson DB Ronde Barber PotHD: LaDainian Tomlinson DPotHD: Donnie Edwards |
All-TLC
2007-2011 - Players of the Third Half-Decade QB Aaron Rodgers RB Adrian Peterson RB Maurice Jones-Drew WR Andre Johnson WR Wes Welker PK David Akers DL Jared Allen DL Justin Tuck LB Patrick Willis LB Ray Lewis DB Yeremiah Bell PotHD: Adrian Peterson DPotHD: Patrick Willis |
| All-TLC 2012-2016 - Players of the Fourth
Half-Decade QB Drew Brees RB Matt Forte RB Le'Veon Bell WR Antonio Brown WR Calvin Johnson PK Stephen Gostkowski DL JJ Watt LB Luke Kuechly LB Paul Poszluzny DB Reshad Jones DB Morgan Burnett PotHD: Antonio Brown DPotHD: JJ Watt |
All-TLC 2017-2021 - Players of the Fifth Half-Decade QB Patrick Mahomes RB Alvin Kamara RB Ezekiel Elliot WR Tyreek Hill WR Davante Adams PK Justin Tucker DL Aaron Donald LB Bobby Wagner LB Joe Schobert DB Budda Baker DB Landon Collins PotHD: Tyreek Hill DPotHD: Bobby Wagner |